123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Good 'News' In These Parts

So, a new dog found me:

Meet Teeny. The Dodge Dog and I were out walking along when she just bumbled up to us and was like, "Hey, guys. I'm gonna hang out with you, if that's cool."

I said, "Oh, no dog. You go on now. Get." And then I noticed she had a shoelace tied around her neck, for crying out loud, and so I asked her, "Where you came from -- that wasn't a very nice place, was it?"

And she got real quiet and blinked at me. I gave in. "All right, dog. You can come with us tonight, but I'm taking you to the shelter tomorrow, deal?"

"OK," she said. "You won't even notice I'm here."

Well, tomorrow came and went. Suffice to say that Cleveland is terribly anti-Pit bull. The no-kill shelters aren't allowed to take them and the other places said, "Well, sure, we'll take her, but she's going down."

"Wait! Why? She's such a good dog!"

"Well, you can keep her, but you'll need insurance, a muzzle, a six-foot fence, and no longer than a three-foot chain to walk her."

"Not a leash? A chain?"

"A chain. See, we really don't want Pit bulls in our city."

Hell's bells, kids. I need the muzzle more than she does. So, I fretted and I researched and I called rescue organizations like For the Love of Pits. And in the meantime, Teeny and Dodger came to love each other, alternately romping and spooning.

He tolerates her sitting on his head, and she lets him chew her tail. It seems to work for them.

So, from the We Totally Saw This Coming Files, I decided to keep her, fully aware of how biased people are toward the breed. I have relied on my PR training so much in these past days, trying to dispel any myths or stereotypes we hear from people on our walks.

"Oh, those dogs are mean! Is it gonna attack me?"

"She'll kill you with kisses," I say. "Come over here and say hi to her." And by the end of it, they're enlightened and Teeny is reveling in the attention. Suffice to say we're both happy with the outcome.

So, a new dog (my lone complaint is that she eats the crotches out of my underwear, a la Murphy, but I needed some new ones anyway, so it all works out). And a new place, though I'm literally just down the street from where I was, so I can walk my laundry over to my sister's house like a real adult. I'll spare you the Moving-Is-A-Gigantic-Pain-In-The-Ass rants, but let me say that this particular move was a real doozie.

Oh, and a new 'do. I chopped off my hair and I'm back to red. It looks good and feels better.

And, lastly, I ditched the boy so I am also newly single. It also feels better.

So, to balance out all of this newness, also on the docket is a trip to Vegas at the end of the month with dear old friends Megan Jane and Camie. I haven't seen Camie in nigh 20 years, so this is going to be fun on so many levels! Pictures (possibly mug shots) to follow.

So, yeah, a full, new summer thus far. Sorry I've been such a turd when it comes to keeping up with you kids -- I figure that's what the winter is for, right? I'll settle in, hibernate for a few months and catch up on your archives.

I have fallen in love with a new favorite band The Be Good Tanyas. In the Comments section, tell me what's new with you.

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