123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Oh! Oh! I'm a Big-Time Writer Person!

This groovy online fictional crime journal liked a story I wrote about a desperate flight attendant. Sean P.K. helped me ready it, and it was a million times better with his suggestions because he's a great writer and editor.

So, they decided they might publish it. Yay! Except that I wrote it under a pseudonym because I talk about giving baggage handlers blow jobs--not that I have. But I don't want my dear Dad, who frequently "Googles" me, thinking that I have given baggage handlers blow jobs. Only in the fictional world, Dad, I swear.

But, the pseudonym didn't quite work out as well as planned 'cause they had one name one place and another name another place. So, most of ya'll know me--no big hoo-ha--but future employers you are NOT allowed to use this information against me. JennyJenny8675309, the way smart intellectual property lawyer, said as much. So there.

Also, go visit the journal because they sent me a wicked cool t-shirt. I'm easy. I admit it freely. Again, Dad, it's a figure of speech. Sort of.

In the Comments section, tell me about the most memorable flight experience you had. Bonus points for stories regarding a flight attendant you thought was moonlighting as a criminal. The winner gets to wear my Thug Lit t-shirt. Holla.


Not so fast, 123Valerie. Don't start patting yourself on the back for being a genius just yet.

Um, I'm fairly ashamed to admit that I came to work, sat down and realized I had my pants on inside out. Doof!

To be fair, they're simple black dress pants, but Geez. I'm awesome. Who wants to make out with me?


  • At 8:16 AM , Blogger Kristin said...

    That's so exciting! I'm going to read it RIGHT NOW (instead of the report that I'm totally supposed to be validating).

  • At 10:07 AM , Blogger Johnny said...

    baggage handlers are hot.

    and they give you free stuff.

    loot from the bags.


  • At 10:34 AM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    Funny thing...I know those boys at Nashville International too :o) I know you said you couldn't use help but I'll down a zipper or two if need-be. I've got ya covered!!

    ********Good job!!

  • At 10:54 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Woot! Good for you. A real life writer - I've been faking it for years.
    BTW, I LOVE the random camping picture...it is so cool I think I may have to bogart some friends down to the river and completely copy you!
    Thanks for coming to visit, thought I'd do the same. I'm totally blogrolling you right now!

  • At 2:23 PM , Anonymous shon "by the grace of god my story shall be heard" 92 said...

    123VALERIE IS A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She stole the idea for that article from a story I told one night when the whiskey was treating me fiercely.

    You see, I actually used to be a flight attendant, and a rather vigorous hussy. The main difference between my real-life and Val’s make-fuckin’-believe, is that she is a monstrous wuss and claimed all the blowjob portions were fiction. In MY story, all blowjob encounters were as real-as-this-boring-skank-of-a-job I currently work. Indeed.

    Val, our days of collaboration are over. Your betrayal has left me weak. In short, your lies trample my selfworth like a feral gila monster. What?


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