123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Charles in Charge

With all of the recent hubbub regarding Wonder Dog Bean, I realized I forgot to even mention Charles the Cat.

Charles also belongs to JennyJenny8675309, but I love him unconditionally.

Charles likes to "knead the dough" on my tummy. Ya'll know what I'm talking about—that weird cat move where they pretend to march in place on you, alternately pressing one paw then the other into your soft fleshy parts. Charles likes to do that early in the morning whilst purring and rubbing his head against mine so his bristly whiskers tickle my nose. I like him.

Megan Jane doesn't like Charles the Cat so much because a) she's highly allergic to cats and has been as long as I've known her since we were 9. She always powers on through because she generally loves animals, but she pretty much gets stuffy, puffy, swollen, snotty and red. And 2) Charles basically has free reign over the house.

Now, don't get me wrong—JennyJenny8675309 and I are very clean, which includes things like litter boxes and guest bathrooms (of which we have two. There are four bathrooms in our house. FOUR! More bathrooms than there are bedrooms. But, I digress).

Though we are very clean, JennyJenny8675309 and I are very relaxed when it comes to animal behaviors. Thus, Wonder Dog Bean is welcome on the couch and Charlie the Cat can go wherever the hell he wants, including the kitchen counter and dining room table. That grosses Megan Jane out, which I can understand.

Animal behavior tolerances are akin to asking someone to be completely forgiving about your beloved's body odor: you might find the scent tolerable—even appealing—but unless one is in love with that person, they're not going to want to inhale the funk. Ditto for stray cat hairs.

Charlie the Cat is currently curled up on my bed, giving me the stink eye. He wants me to turn off the lights so he can get some goddamn sleep already, for crying out loud. It's almost 1:30, after all. But, Wonder Dog Bean and I are excited: JennyJenny8675309 is coming home tomorrow. Yay! It's been lonely without her.

It's nice to find a roommate whom I enjoy. Plus, it's been really hard work rotating to use ALL of those flipping bathrooms.

In the Comments section, tell me about any person, place or thing named Charles that you know and enjoy. I have my dear friend Charles Jett whom I love. We can't seem to ever get a hold of each other, but that's okay because with friends you don't always need to talk to "connect." I also love Charleston, South Carolina, and Charleston Chews candies. The winner can come over and have Charles the Cat knead the dough on your tummy.


  • At 1:55 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I have a serious lack of Charles-es in my life. I'm sad. I do enjoy Charles Town, WV (not to be confused with Charleston, WV). Our sister lives close to the former and I've visted often. I even belonged to church out there for a while but I probably spent more time at the race track than the church. Is that bad?

  • At 4:07 PM , Blogger Grampa said...

    So, I am allegeric to cats, but I discovered that it was the cat dander, from them licking themselves, that I was allergic to. When I had cats, I bathed them once every two weeks and I found that I no longer had any trouble with the red, puffy, sneezing stuff anymore.


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