123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Happy Campers

I forgot to put on deodorant today.

No one noticed. That makes me happy, and it's a good precursor to this weekend's upcoming camp trip to the Shenandoah Valley. A warm-up for minimalism.

Except that, when I go camping, I tend to bring a lot of shit to ensure I have all of the comforts of home, so it feels just like home, but with more trees and the freedom to poop anywhere I want. Except in the coolers. I learned that the hard way.

Busta Keeton set this excursion up, and I'm told we're expecting about 15 people. That's fun because a higher number of campers increases the chance that someone will get drunk and naked. Actually, my attendance ups those odds considerably. I don't much care for clothes.

Some of my beloved D.C. Sisters and I had a delightful reunion camp trip in August. Because my sista Glynnis was kind enough to send me digital photos of our fun times that she and her Hot Sauce Flo Dad took, and also because my brain hurts today from trying to figure out 72 synonyms for the word "profit" (return, money, income, earnings, revenue, proceeds, takings, yield, gains, rewards, thank you very much), ya'll get a nice little picture essay.

Oh, shoot.

No you don't. I left the CD with the digital images at work, where I was enjoying looking at them whilst also listening to the phat mixed CD Glyn-Ass sent titled Shake That Ass Girl, which is scientifically proven to make me shake my ass.

So, further evidence of my tiredness, I will leave up this half-ass post, but as soon as I go in tomorrow, I'll throw up some of the photos for your visual pleasure.

Until then, enjoy this picture of me giving my bra away to a group of guys in the midst of a bachelor party scavenger hunt. Actually, I didn't give it away. Megan Jane talked them into giving me $20 for the undergarment which promised "Amazing Lift." The bra did no such thing, but it is also scientifically proven that Megan Jane is amazing.

Oops. No you can't. That picture is on my work drive and I don't feel like going through the remote access rigamorole. How about this one, also involving my boobs? It has a chubbiness factor of 19.5, but I love you so much that I'm willing to put up unflattering photos of myself. Don't say I never do anything for you.


Hello? Anybody in there?

In the comments section, tell me your favorite camping recipe. The winner gets a copy of Glynnie G-Dog's monster CD Shake That Ass Girl.

Special Shout Out to Kristina Hot Pants Silver Strike Bowling Goddess who wasted nearly her entire day at work reading the 123Valerie Strikes Again archives. I strongly advocate wasted time, so a big thumbs up from me, my lurvely.

Just remember to check out the ads at the top—this goes for all of you. I like that they change to offer things I talk about in my posts. Ya'll might find it interesting that the largest number of my ads promote lesbian dating networks, followed closely by Air Supply ring tones. I know I find it interesting.



***
UPDATE
Huzzah! Here they are: a few memories from out camp trip! There were a shit ton of photos, but quite frankly, kids, I'm right tired of Blogger's uploading antics. I promise I will work the others in following posts--albeit in entirely inappropriate contexts. Enjoy!


Hi Hot Sauce Flo Dad!


Beans, beans the musical fruit. Thanks to Megan Jane, we
had all of the usual camping fare like lemon garlic
green beans


Hi T.J.'s muscular physique.Hi Glynnie! Hi 123Valerie!
First bath I'd had in weeks.


Megan Jane fell victim to a serious spoon/nose accident,
but she seemed to take it all in stride.


Glynnis wasn't the only one to do inappropriate things with
an ear of corn. She was just the only one we got on camera.


Hi Harwell! Hi Megan Jane! Hi 123Valerie who is wearing
stocking feet out in the woods.


After a little herbal inspiration, I thought it would be a good
idea for everyone to find rocks in shapes that would
spell out their names. I suckered poor Rachel in to gathering
with me. Left to right: (top) Val, Jason, P. (for Phil) , Flo,
Megan, T.J. (bottom) Glynnis, Josh, Rachel, Alliy


"Uh, see what had happened was . . ." Joshua as a drunken
bitch.


Now for the dancing portion of our competition. Glynnie
and Alliy breaking it down one time.


Hot Sauce Flo Dad: Look at the weiner resting on my
thigh, 123Valerie.

123Valerie: No.

Phillip in the back with the guitar: I'm going to sing you songs
with the most heartbreakingly beautiful voice in the world.

Hot Sauce Flo Dad and 123Valerie: Yes, please.


Hi Rachel! Hi Josh! You know what would really enhace
your nature experience? More cigarettes and beer! And a
big knife strapped to your leg.


I take that back. We did get another shot of inappropriate
treatment of a corn cob. Thanks T.J.! And I like Alliy here
because, she too, likes long socks in the wild.

6 Comments:

  • At 8:41 PM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    camping recipe...hmmm how 'bout poptarts?

    hope you enjoy some s'mores by the fire. wish i was camping this weekend, should be perfect weather.

    enjoy!

     
  • At 8:50 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I guess I'm going to have to think about food for camping. And picking up a sleeping bag. Someone borrowed mine to hang outside the Supreme Court last winter. Is that weird?

     
  • At 2:00 PM , Anonymous Alliy said...

    awww that was a nice little trip down camping memory lane!!!you rock. ha. socks in the wild....muah hahah me and you girl...me and you!

     
  • At 2:25 PM , Anonymous Alliy said...

    PS. Now your links up above say

    "girlscout ringtones"
    and "girlscout badges"

    that's pretty funny

    does a girlscout ringtone singe i am silver and you are gold or something?

    i wonder....

     
  • At 11:18 PM , Blogger brinki dink said...

    I'm so fucking jealous! I want to go camping with my favorite people on earth and do inappropriate things with corn whilst breaking it down.

     
  • At 10:04 AM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I'm seriously going to have to think about packing now. And shopping. Are we having food?

     

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