123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Metro Adventure #1435: The Jaury is Out

I love making Metro friends.

Tonight, I met Jaury. He informed me that he'd been at the sports bar for nearly 10 hours today except for a little intermission at the strip club.

"You would have liked it there, though. Very classy place," he assured me. I think Jaury could write for Fodor's.

"Where's your man tonight?" Jaury asked.

Tucked away safely in my hopes and dreams with stardust and moonbeams, I wanted to say. "He's out of town this weekend."

Jaury postulated on why any sane man would leave such a smokin' hot specimen like me alone to fall prey to the dreg's of D.C.'s nightlife. "Don't you want to be, like, hittin' some other man when he's away?"

Jaury's concern for my romantic needs was touching, so I didn't want to ruin the love fest by telling him that the aforementioned boyfriend didn't really exist (reference a previous call for blind dates, my pretties. Still waiting). I'm a considerate person, so I played along.

"Well, it's like this, Jaury, when you have as good a thing as he (wink, wink) and I do, you don't want to mess that up just to get your swerve on."

"I feel you. I feel what you're saying. But, still, don't you ever want to like, show your feet to somebody?" Jaury posed.

Um, no. No, not really.

"Well, if you ever change your mind when your man's away, take my card."

I don't know, Jaury. My boyfriend might get mad.

Tell me, in the Comments section, about the craziest person you've ever met on the Metro. The winner gets one of Jaury's cards. I made him give me four because I knew ya'll wouldn't believe that this actually happened.

Special Holla to J. "Busta" Keeton and our pal, Kimberlicious Pal, who did the KIMpossible and encouraged me to try blood sausage, thus giving me a delectable treat and another term for "penis" in the blow job article. Double props, yo.


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