123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Another testament to her awesomeness, Kristin from Candy Sandwich shared her photos of Thursday's merriment with us. I promptly bogarted some for my blog, though, sadly there are no photos of photographer.

Oh, by the way, I probably don't have to tell you fine folks this, but these pictures solely belong to Kristin, so even though I stole them, you probably shouldn't. Thanks!

The boys (Mike, Har Har Harwell, Miles and Scotty's head) rocking out with their cocks out. Or, no. Not really. At least I don't think so . . .

Hello Miles! Hi Scotty! Hey Byrd! How do, 123Valerie! We enjoyed Scotty's attempt to break it down one time.

Miles has a small guitar but giant manhood. At least, that's what Scotty told me.

Megan Jane, Kristin, Scotty and I are all from the same small Ohio town. Mike and his head enjoyed picking out the hot girls from my and MJ's 7th grade yearbook. MJ and I were not on his list. Whatever, dude.

I was hot in my K-Swiss tenny boppers--mushroom hair was the shiz back in the day. Sort of. Mike managed to pick out all of the trashy girls anyway. Sadly, I might have been on that list.

Megan Jane looking loverly, totally redeeming herself for a fugly picture in the 7th grade yearbook. Seriously. It's way bad. I'll show you sometime.

Har Har Harwell playing is a beautiful thing. Almost as good as watching him eat keilbosa.

This picture of Scotty just about says it all. Scotty did a phenomenal job of creating lyrics from my yearbook inscriptions. Do you want to read Megan Jane's message to a 12-year-old 123Valerie? You do. I can tell. Here it is, uncut, unedited:

Beanie Weanie,

How is ya? I thought I would just take up some of your precious time and [doodle of a centipede named Harry] and room for someone to write something you care about. No, don't tell me you don't care, you wish I would shrivel into a prune and the Mayflower would come and take me away and throw me in a scummed up toilet to be plunged out and fed jelly beans untill [sic] I puke and, and, and . . . I don't care what you think of me cause you are my buddy no matter who takes my tobagin (can't spell) [sic] away!! Whatever.



I can't make this shit up, folks. She's always been that awesome.

I should say that my nickname for many years was Beans because I looked like a beanpole. In certain circles, I'm still known as Beans. Mainly the Japanese Mafia.

So, hey, I'm going to San Francisco for work this week. I have to get up for my flight in about 2.5 hours, but instead of sleep, I wanted to share Kristin's art with you.

I hope to check in before I get back on Thursday, but I'm going to be right busy, so I left some casseroles in the fridge for you. Just heat them at 375 for 45 minutes. Remember to pick up the mail. The doctor's number is by the phone, and no parties while I'm gone, okay?

Via con dios, my pretties.

In the Comments section, tell me the best yearbook inscription you ever got. The winner gets to see pictures of me AND Megan Jane from 7th grade. Oof. Very bad.


  • At 12:23 AM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    "I was the first one to sign your crack".

    When I brought it home and my mom saw where someone had written that she made me get whiteout and get it off. I was so sheltered you wouldn't believe it!!

    I'm gonna sing you a song again...here goes...

    "The loveliness of Paris seems somehow sadly gay,
    The glory that was Rome is just another day,
    I've been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan,
    I'm going home to my city by the bay.
    Chorus: I left my heart in San Francisco, high on a hill it calls to me
    To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars.
    The morning fog may chill the air, I don't care.
    My love waits there in San Francisco, above the blue and windy sea,
    When I come home to you, San Francisco, your golden sun will shine for me.

    Enjoy your trip, be careful, & take photos. Mr. Wonderful wants to take me there someday and if we could ever afford it...maybe live there.

  • At 5:01 AM , Blogger nolongermrsborell said...

    Have a safe trip sweets!! Oh guess what I am getting you for christmas. One guess clue...they match!!!

  • At 10:11 AM , Blogger brinki dink said...

    Aw, Meggles and Beans! I'm suffering from hair envy now, you both have such beautiful locks. I hope it's okay for me to call you Beans because I think it's adorable. Have an awesome time in San Fran!

  • At 8:03 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    You can steal my pics anytime. :) Have a great trip. I'll see you soon. Stay the same; you'll go far...

  • At 11:30 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The best ever year book inscription was from a guy named Stan. He actually did a sketch of me during English class...now that I think about it, it's a little creepy...he should have been paying attention to Hamlet at the time, but instead was intently staring at me...eeewww.

  • At 2:03 PM , Blogger Johnny said...

    can i stuff your turkey?



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