123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

A Metaphorical Post that Contains A lot of Links to Celebrate a Beautiful Matrimonial Union Forever Linking Theresa and Skye

Work's been a little hairy as of late. A lot of hours, a lot of food from the vending machine, a lot of conversations with the after-hours security guard.

A wise blogger, much smarter about matters like this than I, said it's best not to blog about work, so ya'll are spared the details except to say that it is Saturday morning at 11:30, and I'm barely in the middle of my work day. Let me say that again: Saturday.

But, what I'm focusing on today is my dear friend Theresa's wedding. Maybe ya'll recall that Theresa and her husband-to-be-in-about-20-minutes-or-so Skye are glass blowing artisans in Colorado. Today, they are getting married.

I met Theresa in the eighth grade at a small Catholic school in small-town Ohio. In a mass (har har) of angry, devious, Catholic school children back-biting and beating each other down, Theresa stood out as a genuine, caring, creative and compassionate soul. Years later, she still shines as all of those things and so many more, though, like most of us, she has an aversion to burgundy plaid.

Theresa is from that small Ohio town; her Dad is the mayor, in fact. He used to have one of those yellow signs in the front yard that advertised the school's football games and spaghetti dinners. He's a good man, and Theresa got his ability to talk with anyone, anytime, anywhere about anything.

Theresa's Mom was a good woman, too. She passed away right after high school graduation. My family had long since moved out the small Ohio town where we met, but coming back for the funeral, I saw the community, as well as Theresa and her family, grieved the loss. T's grace and honesty about her experience helped guide me through my time of need years later.

While T got a beautiful mix from both parents, she did not inherit the deep roots they had for that small Ohio town. She set off for points westward—first Texas and finally Colorado, where she found her home and her heart.

Skye and T have been together for several years now, and I'd never been able to get out to meet Skye and all of Theresa's friends (like her dear friend Melinda who tried tirelessly to get in touch with me about T's bachelorette party. As is my terrible habit, I let the whirlwind of life and work overtake me, and her calls went unreturned. Sorry, Melinda! Hope you got her to wear a penis necklace and do blowjob shots!)

So, I planned for months to attend the wedding. Tricky stuff considering that I do have to work on financially sort of things every Friday evening and Saturday morning, but I was determined. I was going. Tickets bought. Car rented. Sweet hotel deal thanks to my Step-Mom Paula.

Then—work. Work. Argh! WORK!

"No way, Jose," said my desk. "You ain't going nowhere."
(Oh wee. Ride me high. Tomorrow's the day that my bride's gonna come. Oh oh, are we gonna fly down into the easy chair.)

Well, apparently, 123Valerie, ain't gonna fly nowhere nohow. Crap. My heart hurts. T's special day, and instead of enjoying mimosas dishing with the girls about which of Skye's friends are the cutest ("Oooh. Look at Barbecue. I'd like to take a bubbly bath with him"), I'm trying to figure out which is correct: high-dividend yielding stocks or high-dividend-yielding stocks. Hint: extra hyphen, kids.

I just really needed this, you know? I needed the warm glow of T's presence surrounded by the love vibrations of T's friends and family because of the beautiful union of T and Skye. Kind of like an emotional turducken: friendship wrapped in love wrapped in holy matrimony, separated by layers of cake.

But, the good news is that T and Skye have everything they need right now: each other. Although, if you're feeling the spirit of giving, hit up their Web site and buy stuff so they can take a honeymoon. That would be nice.

As a consolation prize, JennyJenny8675309's parents are in town this weekend, so there is a definite family vibe around us. I am bummed that they don't wear toboggans with pom-poms, but I did confirm they do give out full-sized candy bars at Halloween.

In the Comments section, send a special congrats wish to Theresa and Skye. The winner of the gushiest, squishiest sentiment gets a penis necklace that I had as a memento of Kirstin's bachelorette party. During which we tried to steal a whiskey decanter from a stretch Hummer. Unsuccessfully. But that's for another time.

Oh! Right quick: On Monday, I'm going to make the guest post decision regarding Interweb life changing blah, blah, blah. Read about the contest here. So, you don't even have to have a blog, per se, to write a guest post. There's still plenty of time to tell me how the Interweb has enhanced your life in some way.


  • At 11:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    sorry you didn't get to go to the wedding val, work gets a f minus for sure. I am sure they miss you, alot! but here's hoping that their days are filled with laughter, sunshine, love, forgivness, acceptance, joy, frinedship and love, love, love. happy wedding theresa and Skye!

  • At 3:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm in the same boat with you for my best friend from high school's wedding. She was one of my maids of honor (years ago when I married the EX) for Christ's sake...and I cannot get off work. And the worse part is that it's on my actual birthday and after I told my friend I couldn't attend she said "Oh, I'm really sad, we already had a birthday surprise planned for you at the wedding!!" Talk about feeling like C-R-A-P (I love hypens 2!)

    Now, here we go...
    T & S...the love you two share has shown me what TRUE love is. I never knew before I saw it in you two. You put the shine in the stars, the smell in Downy, the autumn breeze sways to YOUR tune. It's amazing....it's beautiful...it's like no other love this earth has ever experienced or seen. I'm so glad you two found each other in this big world garbled with faux destinies. The sweetness you exude gives me warm fuzzies all over. Congrats to you...to your future...and to my awesome edible penis necklace!!! (CHOMP!)

  • At 4:10 PM , Blogger nolongermrsborell said...

    We were so close and then it fell!!. I don't remember a penis necklace...but I am sure that is not he only thing I don't remember from that night. I wish your friends all the best!

  • At 4:46 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I'm sorry missed the wedding, Val. That's a bummer, but look at it this way: You might have missed the wedding, but you'll be part of their lives forever.

  • At 8:05 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    We had so much fun!! Although I'm sorry you weren't here with us, we did acknowledge ALL of our freinds and family who could not make it. Also, I made the whole bachelorrette party do a shot in your honor. I've got some fun stories for you, and I will be sending pictures when I get them. I LOVE YOU 123 Valerie!
    Theresa (& Skye)
    Thank you to everyone for your well-wishings

  • At 11:17 PM , Blogger brinki dink said...

    Congratulations to T & S! Your glass beads are absolutely beautiful!

    Valerie, my dear, I'm afraid you have been doing too much working and taking care of other people's needs these past two weekends and not enough playing and living fabulously for yourself. I wish I lived nearer to you so that I could kidnap you and whisk you away for a weekend full of hot tubs, mimosas, and cabana boys. Muah!

  • At 11:18 PM , Blogger brinki dink said...

    PS. Holy Turducken! This is the first I've heard of this culinary insanity. Not surprised to see that it originated in America. Has anyone ever made one of these?


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