A Metaphorical Post that Contains A lot of Links to Celebrate a Beautiful Matrimonial Union Forever Linking Theresa and Skye

Work's been a little hairy as of late. A lot of hours, a lot of food from the vending machine, a lot of conversations with the after-hours security guard.

A wise blogger, much smarter about matters like this than I, said it's best not to blog about work, so ya'll are spared the details except to say that it is Saturday morning at 11:30, and I'm barely in the middle of my work day. Let me say that again: Saturday.

But, what I'm focusing on today is my dear friend Theresa's wedding. Maybe ya'll recall that Theresa and her husband-to-be-in-about-20-minutes-or-so Skye are glass blowing artisans in Colorado. Today, they are getting married.

I met Theresa in the eighth grade at a small Catholic school in small-town Ohio. In a mass (har har) of angry, devious, Catholic school children back-biting and beating each other down, Theresa stood out as a genuine, caring, creative and compassionate soul. Years later, she still shines as all of those things and so many more, though, like most of us, she has an aversion to burgundy plaid.

Theresa is from that small Ohio town; her Dad is the mayor, in fact. He used to have one of those yellow signs in the front yard that advertised the school's football games and spaghetti dinners. He's a good man, and Theresa got his ability to talk with anyone, anytime, anywhere about anything.

Theresa's Mom was a good woman, too. She passed away right after high school graduation. My family had long since moved out the small Ohio town where we met, but coming back for the funeral, I saw the community, as well as Theresa and her family, grieved the loss. T's grace and honesty about her experience helped guide me through my time of need years later.

While T got a beautiful mix from both parents, she did not inherit the deep roots they had for that small Ohio town. She set off for points westward—first Texas and finally Colorado, where she found her home and her heart.

Skye and T have been together for several years now, and I'd never been able to get out to meet Skye and all of Theresa's friends (like her dear friend Melinda who tried tirelessly to get in touch with me about T's bachelorette party. As is my terrible habit, I let the whirlwind of life and work overtake me, and her calls went unreturned. Sorry, Melinda! Hope you got her to wear a penis necklace and do blowjob shots!)

So, I planned for months to attend the wedding. Tricky stuff considering that I do have to work on financially sort of things every Friday evening and Saturday morning, but I was determined. I was going. Tickets bought. Car rented. Sweet hotel deal thanks to my Step-Mom Paula.

Then—work. Work. Argh! WORK!

"No way, Jose," said my desk. "You ain't going nowhere."
(Oh wee. Ride me high. Tomorrow's the day that my bride's gonna come. Oh oh, are we gonna fly down into the easy chair.)

Well, apparently, 123Valerie, ain't gonna fly nowhere nohow. Crap. My heart hurts. T's special day, and instead of enjoying mimosas dishing with the girls about which of Skye's friends are the cutest ("Oooh. Look at Barbecue. I'd like to take a bubbly bath with him"), I'm trying to figure out which is correct: high-dividend yielding stocks or high-dividend-yielding stocks. Hint: extra hyphen, kids.

I just really needed this, you know? I needed the warm glow of T's presence surrounded by the love vibrations of T's friends and family because of the beautiful union of T and Skye. Kind of like an emotional turducken: friendship wrapped in love wrapped in holy matrimony, separated by layers of cake.

But, the good news is that T and Skye have everything they need right now: each other. Although, if you're feeling the spirit of giving, hit up their Web site and buy stuff so they can take a honeymoon. That would be nice.

As a consolation prize, JennyJenny8675309's parents are in town this weekend, so there is a definite family vibe around us. I am bummed that they don't wear toboggans with pom-poms, but I did confirm they do give out full-sized candy bars at Halloween.

In the Comments section, send a special congrats wish to Theresa and Skye. The winner of the gushiest, squishiest sentiment gets a penis necklace that I had as a memento of Kirstin's bachelorette party. During which we tried to steal a whiskey decanter from a stretch Hummer. Unsuccessfully. But that's for another time.

Oh! Right quick: On Monday, I'm going to make the guest post decision regarding Interweb life changing blah, blah, blah. Read about the contest here. So, you don't even have to have a blog, per se, to write a guest post. There's still plenty of time to tell me how the Interweb has enhanced your life in some way.