Blogtropolis (Or the One in Which I Give Ya'll a Virtual Hug. Squeeze!)

Blogging in the night can lead to awkwardness in the morning.

Or, like a one-night stand, it can lead to a fulfilling relationship. Either way, you know exactly what the outcome will be as soon as you roll over the next day.

I've had the wonderful fortune of "meeting" a lot of folks I never would have otherwise known through this here blog. Truth be told, I'm reeling a bit from the sense of family and support I've gotten from this outlet. I feel all squooshy and floaty when I think about it.

It's such a beautiful feeling—like ALWAYS having someone to sit with in the cafeteria.

But, while I've been lucky to get only positive feed back ('cause ya'll rock n' roll, hoochie coos) I'm worried to find out just what happens when someone's first glimpse of me is a random, misrepresentative post about things I might do with a zucchini or possibly how I hate waiting in drive through bank lines so badly that I wipe boogers on deposit slips. (Just, you know, as hypothetical examples, kids.)

Maybe that's the ugly-beauty of the blogarithim universe. You can instantaneously meet soul mates or just as quickly dismiss quality people simply because you happened to catch them on an off day.

And comments—whoa. They are like water balloons that can refresh and install fun on a hot summer day or can unexpectedly smack you in the face and ruin the hairstyle on which you spent 45 minutes and at least $2.47 worth of gel. How does one respond to comments like, "You should never do that with a zucchini. My family and I will pray for your soul" or "Boogers are awesome!"?

This Interweb world is weird because there's no context for anything.

That's the way it works: I start by reading a friend's blog and stumble onto a friend of their's that may have left a comment. Then before I know it, the process has repeated, and I'm reading the blog from Grampa, who is busy working toward world domination in Hawaii, but fortunately has overcome dander allergies and heroin with frequent cat-bathing. Huh? He got over heroin addiction by bathing his cat?

I just wanted to read Kristen's take on the camp trip while chewing on a muffin at work. Then suddenly I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on in someone else's life when I can't even figure out what's going on in mine.


We need a photo here. Very text heavy, this post. This is my Adelka Ann. I stole this from her online portfolio. She makes me cry with her talented dancing/choreographing/acting/puppeteering/zucchini pancake making.

Every day is a journey in the blogtropolis. Before I could say "boo," I had 72 new friends who knew more about my life than my parents, even though I've never met these blogging buddies in person. It's not really uncomfortable, just uncharted.

It reminds me of when my Dad married my second Step-Mom, Paula, and her dear-hearted family took me and my sisters in—they were unsure of our background, character and whatnot, but they loved us anyways. I said "anyways" intentionally. 'Cause that's the way I roll in the bloggy world.

There's a lot of love to be had, tho, and Megan Jane and I recently had a lengthy convo about connecting with people we loved. She helped show me that "connecting with people" simply means welcoming them into my heart. It doesn't matter why they're welcomed—genes or friendship or Interwebbing. "Loved ones" is a very broad idea.

That's all that matters.

Amalah, Attention Whore, Bat Shit Crazy, Brinki Dink, Broke Kid, Candy Sandwich, Dad Gone Mad, D.C. Sisterhood, Flat Coke and Flies, Grampa's House, Janee, Johnny D.C., Lucky Alibi, Metro Dad, Miss Doxie, No Longer Mrs. Borrel, Soul Kart Wheel, Sweetney, xTx and so many others I've come to know recently or have just come to know better, thank you for helping to give me a voice. And thank you for sharing yours with me.

Wow. I feel like Flava Flav looking at all of these beautiful wimins standing before me who are way outside of my league, trying to decide who I like the most. Outside of Sumthin, who shit herself, I seriously could not imagine my life without any of ya'll. I want all of you to know what time it is. It's time to recognize the beauty in your blogger sisters and brothers. 'Cause that's how we do.

In the Comments section, tell me how the Interweb has enhanced your life. No rules here. It could be an online dating connection. Porn. Discovering a long lost friend through a reunion site. A really good roast chicken recipe at foodnetwork.com. Whatevs. The winner gets a guest post on 123Valerie Strikes Again on whatever they want to write about. For serious, yo. For I am only one in a sea of cool cats and hot girls. Cats don't swim, but shurt urp.