123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Cohen Head

(The Lovin' Spoonful's Do You Believe in Magic? playing softly in the background.)

Yahoo, kids! I have a date tomorrow with a very nice Jewish boy by the name of Cohen. For those of you who don't know, Jewish boys are kryptonite to me. He's a witty Sagittarius that makes as many plays on words as I do. And that's a lot. He's also 6' 4" and plays the cello! The cello! Let me say it again: the cello!

We're meeting for coffee. How grownup! How mature! How not involving alcohol! This will be the first date in at least five years that did not begin with, "I'll have a double Beam and Coke, please." Good for me!

I love blind dates. I really do. I know a lot of people dread them, but it's like unwrapping a Christmas (or Hanukkah) gift. Sometimes, you get a pack of underpants and sometimes you get a Tiffany bracelet. I could use either right now.

Emmie's got it right, tho: it's best to be happy single before you can expect happiness in a relationship. Rest assured, I've spent months being happy single--just not any of the recent months like October, September, August or July. I'll keep you posted.

In the Comments section, tell me if you have a "type" or a characteristic a crush must have. Not that boys or gals must be Jewish for me--it just helps. I think it's the fobidden element. I'm a Catholic shiksa. And also frequently a meshugena.


My friend and office neighbor Terri Z is also Jewish. I told her about the date and she asked, "Have you heard the joke about the jogging Jewish guy?"

Me: "No."

TZ: "Can I sexually harass you?"

Well, that's a no-brainer, TZ. Go right ahead.

A Jewish guy is running with a hard on and he runs into a wall. Which part of his body does he hit first?

His nose.

Ba dum chi.

Can I say again--I love Jewish boys.


  • At 11:09 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...


    Okay...no I'm not...

    Jewish...or offended...

    I am a liar though. ;)


  • At 12:51 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    Mmmmmm. 6'4" and plays the cello.

    Am so jealous.

    All I've got in my pocket is 4'10" and plays with himself.

  • At 2:17 PM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Steven, you are a Sag, too, and therefore automatically kewl.

    And Mist 1 scores points for dating a little person she can keep in her pocket. I'm hoping Cohen wants to keep ME in his pocket. That would be fun.

  • At 4:54 PM , Blogger Johnny said...

    I'd like to put something in your hot pocket.


  • At 5:26 PM , Blogger Loudlush said...

    Not sure how I got to your blog, but it's a great read.

    My type? London accent, blokey, dry wit, good with his hands.

  • At 5:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Apparently my type is the kind that wants the whole nine yards...and I'm only willing to give up about three. Every guy I've met lately has wanted to marry me and have my babies...BACK OFF AND GET YOUR OWN OVARIES...mine are D.O.N.E.

  • At 6:01 PM , Blogger emertron said...

    Yay! Good luck with this. I have to say that I never had much luck with Jewish guys, despite about a year-long streak with a few.

  • At 11:21 PM , Blogger nolongermrsborell said...

    Well i hope you have a fantastic time, because ia m sure he will, how can you go out with 123valerie and not have a fantastic time!!!!! Love ya!!

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