123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Get Off the Fence, Post

Well, my pretties, thank you so much to all of you who lent me your ears for yesterday's debacle, on and off the blogline. I did write her back with a message that said, "I wish you well, but I don't want you back in my life." She simply wrote back "No worries," so I'm not. I feel good about it, and Mist 1, I did tell her to eat more broccoli to prevent the cancer from coming back.

Alright. No I didn't, but Mist 1, my newest Interweb friend, brings me to an important point—the ever growing blogroll to the right of the screen.

There's an important lesson to be learned here, kids. If you stop by to visit, please leave a comment. First, I will get excited, jump up and down a little bit, and then I will zip over to your blog to find out how singularly talented you are. Chances are good that if you tickle me in any way—especially my tummy—you will end up on my Blogroll of Fame, where You're Gonna Live Forever. It's a beautiful thing. I think you're all hot stuff, and I want the world to give me credit for having amazing taste. We both win.

Alright. Housekeeping aside, I signed up for an online dating match thingy last night. Eek. Oh my Lord. Megan Jane made me do it. She told me my heart chakra is blocked, and it's next to impossible to unblock it myself—believe me, I've tried with some of the stuff Will sent me.

I generally have an "eh. no thanks" attitude toward these things, but I got to thinking. If I'm a quality, sweet piece of ass who's simply having a hard time meeting non-douche bags in this city, there are probably other quality sweet pieces who are having a hard time, as well. And it's very likely they've turned to the same online outlet for help.

I spent the better part of last night constructing my profile. How do I convince complete strangers in a couple of paragraphs that I'm as awesome as it gets? And also modest.

It's hard, especially because I don't like any of the digital photos I have of myself. I just wanted to slap a picture of my cleavage up there, but that's against the site's rules. Whatevs. They don't know what they're missing.

I got a couple of messages, but they were from people 70 miles away, and while I haven't been laid in some time, I'm not about to journey to the center of the earth for a roll in the hay. Yet.

I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, you keep posting. Deal?

In the Comments section, leave me a comment. It's novel. It's innovative. It just might work. Any delurkers get to see the picture of my cleavage OR the actual thing—your choice.

12 Comments:

  • At 4:24 PM , Blogger nolongermrsborell said...

    Your blog is one a the few highlights of my day!!You crack me up!!!!! miss you tons!!

     
  • At 4:26 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
    quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
    different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
    a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping.
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  • At 4:28 PM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Well, where there is sunshine, my loverly Ex-Mrs. Borrell, there is also shade, anonymous extra-money maker.

    I need to enable the comment verification, but those wobbly letters give me the creeps. As does the word "wobbly."

     
  • At 5:10 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    "They weeble and they wobble but they won't fall down." Sadly, this used to apply to my breasts, but alas, the whole "Wobble" thing has affected them greatly and they fall the minute I unhook my bra. Nice image I'm giving ya hey?
    Good luck with the whole web dating thing. Freaks me out. The only way it would work for me is if the guy was John Cusak in "Must Love Dogs." My luck he would be Billy Bob Thorton in Slingblade.

     
  • At 5:32 PM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    Hope the online thing works for you. It scares me...but I'm just a country girl, whadda I know?

     
  • At 8:48 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    You totally should have told her about a diet rich in anti-oxidants.

     
  • At 11:41 PM , Blogger brinki dink said...

    Girl you certainly are a quality, sweet piece of ass. Good luck with the online dating thing, it sounds like fun. Muah!

     
  • At 12:01 PM , Anonymous Megan Jane said...

    Heya V,
    I have a good feeling about this...

     
  • At 12:49 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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  • At 12:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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  • At 1:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hey,nice blog!!! I found a place where you can make an extra $800 or more a month. I do it part time and make a lot more than that. It is definitely worth a visit! You can do it in your spare time and make good cash. Make Extra Cash

     
  • At 1:23 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hey,nice blog!!! I found a place where you can make an extra $800 or more a month. I do it part time and make a lot more than that. It is definitely worth a visit! You can do it in your spare time and make good cash. Make Extra Cash

     

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