I Hate Blogger (Or I Will Now Pimp Out My Blog Space)

So, if Blogger sent me a MySpace friend request right now, I would reject it. Re to the ject it, my pretties. Then I would kick Blogger in the shins and make fun of its hair.

Ya'll may notice that I had to remove all of the fun descriptions of your blogs because it was either that or start kicking people off the list; Blogger decided there just isn't enough room on the infinite Internets for me to tell people how wonderful you all without wonkying up my sidebar format. It was FUBAR, kids.

But, this is where the fun begins. I have room for some descriptions--I think about 10 if I gauged it correctly. Oh, we'll go with 10, why the hell not. These 10 spots will revolve every week based on the number of comments you leave. The more comments you leave, the longer your description stays up or the better your chances for getting it up become.

Now, that said, I want you to know I will be employing no scientic methods and really "the number" of comments isn't a static concept. Maybe you leave 72 comments a week, but if they're dull or you smell like mushrooms, then I reserve the right to not count half of them. Maybe even three-quarters. Or, if say, you send me naked pictures of yourself, but you don't leave any comments, that counts for, like, 637 notes, so you can secure yourself a description.

Everyone is starting afresh and new comment-leavers/people I lurve who stumble onto the magic that is 123Valerie go into the mix, too.

So, maybe you're saying, "123V, I don't care about your stupid descriptions of me or my blog, and I will not comprimise my integrity just to get a little added linky love and possibly increase traffic to my blog."

To that, I say: Get the hell off of my blog. Comprimising integrity is what I'm all about, and if you don't want to ride down with us, then there are plenty of kids who'd like your spot in the handbasket.

It's true that absolute power corrupts absolutely, but an Absolute martini never hurt anyone.

In the Comments section, leave a comment. No time like the present, kids.