123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Super 8 Gets a 10 in My Book

I'm bogarting some wi-fi from a Super 8 Motel in Portsmouth, Ohio, to tell you I lurve you, and I lurve my family. (My Nan called it "wee fee." She also says "cha hua hua" for the little Mejican dogs. Anyhoo.)

My Dad was wearing orange shoes. I love that man. I guess when you're 60 and it's your birthday, you can do what ever the hell you want.

My Aunt Wendy pinched my butt no less than 52 times--we're definitely a butt-pinching family. I love Aunt Wendy. She will punch my butt until I'm 72.

My step-cousin tried to hit on me. That's kind of weird. I'll take it as a sign that the gym is working.

Um, what else? Oh, man, my nephews and niece--they could make me lift the moratorium on my ovaries. "Be evil, Aunt Beans, so I can kill you with my sword of poop," Sam said. "Aunt Beans, you can't be evil AND laugh. Geeez!")

More to come, but I'm on my way to the blooming metropolis of Canton, Ohio, to hang with some of my favorite homeslices. Keep it real, kids, and remember: I'll keep the light on for you.

In the Comments section, tell me about your favorite family member. Then call them up and tell them why you love them so much.

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12 Comments:

  • At 12:21 PM , Blogger Uhave said...

    Sheesh...I was born in Portsmouth, Ohio. Really. No kidding.

     
  • At 2:05 PM , Blogger Matt said...

    My favorite family member is my little sister Meghan, who graduated from her college class as valedictorian and has since done a lot of travelling and can always hook me up w/ weed.

    I'd call her but she's somewhere in Florida and her phone has been shut off.

     
  • At 4:52 PM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    Blood family? NO ONE!!
    Blogger Family?? TISH, CINDY, & JORDAN
    Current Living Family? BAT.

     
  • At 12:54 AM , Blogger SaM-GiRL said...

    I love all my immediate family members to death, Mom, Dad, and 2 sisters, but the one I get along with the most, is my middle sister Lizzy, she's a year older than me but were best friends.... Great Blog!

     
  • At 2:01 AM , Blogger hyacinths and biscuits said...

    you can certainly be evil and laugh.

    Hasn't this kid ever heard of an "evil laugh?" What does he think all the bad guys are doing when they chuckle and wring their hands menacingly?

     
  • At 2:04 AM , Blogger mist1 said...

    I don't come from a butt-pinching family. Maybe that's what's wrong with us. We need to pinch more butts.

    I am my favorite family member.

     
  • At 3:03 AM , Blogger Nosjunkie said...

    I have neva seen orange shoes b4

     
  • At 6:21 AM , Blogger WanderingGirl said...

    My favorite family member is BLEEEEEP, because BLEEEEEEEEP. It's always been that way.

     
  • At 11:22 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I love Nans. They rock. Hope you're having fun.

     
  • At 11:36 PM , Blogger Valerie said...

    Hiya UH2BK--I was so psyched 'cause they finally finished the Rt. 23 bridge. Woo haa! I love that flea market on 23 a little past Waverly, too. Ever been? I got some quality Elvis memorabilia there.

    Matty, it goes to show you that smart and financially successful do not neccesarilly go hand in hand. You should take a vacay and go see her.

    Family is a loose term, isn't it, FC&F?

    I have awesome sisters, too, Sam G. I think you're Great!

    Hy Biscuits, I guess when you're 4, things are very black and white, ya know? Pretending to stab and kill "evil" = good. Laughing = bad.

    A little squeeze now and again never hurt anyone, Mist. Practice on strangers first--it's easier.


    Yeah, Nos, my Dad's pretty awesome. He works with a lot of chemicals, so they might actually be radioactive.

    I don't know what that means, WG, but if you need an adoptive family, there's always plenty of room and black forest cake at the 123 clan.

    You have a Nan, too, K? Mine can fit in my pocket. I wonder if your Nan could beat up my Nan. Probably.

     
  • At 12:35 AM , Blogger James Burnett said...

    I can't pick one. I have to go with two: my parents. They just celebrated their 38th anniversary, and I can honestly say they provided the best example to me coming up of what a happy marriage looks like and what functional adults act like. And they're still at it.

    Now I'm gonna get all weepy. Thanks a lot 123Valerie. I'll go call 'em now...sniff.

     
  • At 9:44 PM , Blogger WanderingGirl said...

    It means I can't admit to a favorite or I'll be needing that adoptive family.

     

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