2008: Salad Dressings Better Watch Out

Behold: The Underpants Kid, my darling nephew, Sam.

Honestly, I don't know where he learns this kind of stuff.

I don't know what is more amusing: the fact that I took this picture at all or that I tried on several pair of underpants to see which photographed the best. The thongs just looked like I had on a headband.

So, alright, New Year's Eve is upon us and I suspect a lot of other folks will be putting, if not underpants, then perhaps lampshades or silly hats on their heads, and good for them.

I try to keep a low profile on New Year's, and this year shouldn't be any different. So far, the plans include board games and some jalapeno poppers. Whoo.

Since I've already blown my resolution to wear more side ponytails in 2008, thanks to the hair cut, and I mastered this year's resolution to become more comfortable cooking big hunks of meat (best pulled pork ever—just sayin'), I'm without a watermark to determine how resolute I will ultimately be next year.

Maybe I will try to learn how to tie knots or be more adventurous in my choice of salad dressing. Always with the bleu cheese. There's got to be more to life.

Speaking of blue, I was walking out of my favorite grocery store, and I saw a few paradoxically bright pennies gleaming in this cesspool of a fountain, and I thought how desperate these people must have been to try out their wishes here. And I wondered if the Fountain Fairies would even think to come by for these penny wishes, given that the fountain was so obviously not in service this time of year.

It made me sad. And then I started thinking about the folks who pin all of their hopes and dreams for the entire year on the outcome of New Year's Eve and whether or not they get to kiss someone.

I am always looking for signs and I am perpetually superstitious, but even I know what a bunch of bunk that is. Your happiness does not lie in making out with random strangers.

Well, I guess that's not always true. Still, I'm not going to go out of my way to try and lock lips with anything except a jalapeno popper. Spicy!

I bid you a Happy New Year and beyond, my pretties.

In the Comments section, tell me who or what you're going to be making out with when the ball drops.