123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

2008: Salad Dressings Better Watch Out

Behold: The Underpants Kid, my darling nephew, Sam.

Honestly, I don't know where he learns this kind of stuff.

I don't know what is more amusing: the fact that I took this picture at all or that I tried on several pair of underpants to see which photographed the best. The thongs just looked like I had on a headband.

So, alright, New Year's Eve is upon us and I suspect a lot of other folks will be putting, if not underpants, then perhaps lampshades or silly hats on their heads, and good for them.

I try to keep a low profile on New Year's, and this year shouldn't be any different. So far, the plans include board games and some jalapeno poppers. Whoo.

Since I've already blown my resolution to wear more side ponytails in 2008, thanks to the hair cut, and I mastered this year's resolution to become more comfortable cooking big hunks of meat (best pulled pork ever—just sayin'), I'm without a watermark to determine how resolute I will ultimately be next year.

Maybe I will try to learn how to tie knots or be more adventurous in my choice of salad dressing. Always with the bleu cheese. There's got to be more to life.

Speaking of blue, I was walking out of my favorite grocery store, and I saw a few paradoxically bright pennies gleaming in this cesspool of a fountain, and I thought how desperate these people must have been to try out their wishes here. And I wondered if the Fountain Fairies would even think to come by for these penny wishes, given that the fountain was so obviously not in service this time of year.

It made me sad. And then I started thinking about the folks who pin all of their hopes and dreams for the entire year on the outcome of New Year's Eve and whether or not they get to kiss someone.

I am always looking for signs and I am perpetually superstitious, but even I know what a bunch of bunk that is. Your happiness does not lie in making out with random strangers.

Well, I guess that's not always true. Still, I'm not going to go out of my way to try and lock lips with anything except a jalapeno popper. Spicy!

I bid you a Happy New Year and beyond, my pretties.

In the Comments section, tell me who or what you're going to be making out with when the ball drops.

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  • At 1:26 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Happy New Year. All I can say is that is one sad fountain to make wishes in. Crap.

    I'll be smooching Poor Bill if we are still awake. Otherwise, it'll be the hottie in my dream! :)

  • At 8:36 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    My husband, if I'm awake. Patrick Dempsey if I'm not.

  • At 8:44 AM , Anonymous krok45 said...


    You have a very sexy neck. I hadn't noticed that before.

    Your nephew sure has some fancy pj's. I don't think I started wearing ladies underwear on my head until I was 13, kids are growing up so fast these days.

    That red pair looks nice but go ahead and send me the thong pair, thanks.

    Happy New Year

    Oops, I'll be asleep. My internal clock is very strict.

  • At 12:20 PM , Blogger Nina said...

    I will be asleep at midnight, either by the good grace of sleeping pills or the good grace of grace. I want to be unconscious when this year ends. Unless I change my mind, in which case I'll get up and go out and jump in the lake. I might kiss my own reflection in the mirror - but I probably won't because it sounds kind of scary.

    Best to you in 2008. Try the Green Goddess. It's not bad.

  • At 1:01 PM , Blogger Amanda said...

    Happy New Year! I will be kissing the current squeeze in my life. That is if I am awake.

  • At 1:18 PM , Blogger pistols at dawn said...

    I hear Ansel Adams tended to try over 100 pairs of underwear on his head before every self-portrait.

    I am not a fan of New Year's Eve, mostly because it's amateur night in the drunk tank. So I imagine that wherever I end up (whichever group of friends I can't blow off), I'll be kissing the bottle.

  • At 2:02 PM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Happy New Year's to you, Pool and Suze. Sounds like your nights are going to be winner eithers way. Hot-cha-cha!

    Krok, thank you very much. I hear that often, actually. I never really appreciated the value of a sexy neck until I saw a few unsexy ones. As you can tell, we are very fancy dressers in my family, and we never leave home without a hat/underwear. Happy New Year!

    Nina, I think you're a Green Goddess. Are you talking about Annie's? I actually like it very much, and thank you, dear, for the reminder of that. A million kisses in the new year!

    Amanda, trust me--you don't always have to be awake for them to enjoy it. Happy new year, darlin'.

    PAD, always so supportive. Thanks, kid--I had hoped we might be able to celebrate rebel style by getting drunk and punching each other, but since that happened the last time we were together, it doesn't bear repeating. Happy New Year!

  • At 7:15 PM , Anonymous Franki said...

    I've got a tube top, a choker necklace and Rock Band, so I'll be makin a fool of myself.

    As usual.

    Happy New Year Val!

  • At 8:20 PM , Blogger Mariposa said...

    It's 2008 here already...I was to busy with your fireworks...lol

    Happy new year and cheers to more ponytails for 2008!

  • At 1:24 PM , Blogger WendyB said...

    I'm glad you finally found the underwear style that best complemented your face. Phew.

  • At 3:19 PM , Blogger UnBonHomme said...

    a bottle of Perrier Jouet.

  • At 6:30 PM , Blogger Leonesse said...

    Nice skivvies!

  • At 10:22 AM , Blogger Woodrow said...

    They matched the shower curtain nicely, so good choice.

    I sipped a little bit o' tequila. New Years' parties aren't as fun when you're the only single person there. I enjoyed that motorcycle jump though.

  • At 2:07 PM , Blogger country roads said...

    That's what I was missing...jalapeno poppers. Next year, I'm staying home with those instead of going anywhere :-P

  • At 4:22 PM , Blogger Johnny DC said...

    priceless pix! I LOL'ed.

  • At 11:51 PM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Franki Baby, you had me at "tube top." Lurve you, lady.

    Mariposa, you light our lives. Literally. Cheers and ponytails to

    I know, right, WendyB? I have such a weak chin, that for many years I wore boycuts on my head--bad move.

    UBH, is that anything like the $15 jug of Pinot Noir I guzzled down? Probably not as good, I bet, because yours didn't have a handle.

    Leonesse, thank you, dear. I look even better out of them. Holla!

    Woodrow, I always try to match my underthings with my home accessories. It was super difficult when I had my Archie and Jughead shower curtain. I do hope we hear more about this motorcycle jump, young man.

    CRJ, you can appreciate this--they were homemade, dude! So good. I fried them in bacon fat! Yes!

    Johnny Fruitloops, did you LOL in your pants again? Glad to see you, buddy. Happy New Year!

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