May I Have a Hug, Please?

Hey Gang!

So, it's another Dead Mom Post. Ya'll, I am so sorry. I thought I could handle this, but the one-year anniversary of her death is on Monday, and know what? I'm a mess. Whoo. Complete mess. Crying. Spacing out. Wanting to pack it all in and move to the Galapagos Islands.

Sorry, kids. I wish I could be entertaining and light-hearted and zippy dippy right now, but I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I miss my Mom.

Thank you so much for your sweet comments, and yes, Jason, I particularly would like some hard and fast sex RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT. That doesn't seem to be likely, though, so I might take a day or two off from the blogging, okay? Mostly because the tears flopping on the keyboard could electrocute me, and my hair is frizzy enough.

On a happy note, Hey Pretty has had a lapse in judgment and decided to MIRL! Wheee! I'm going to try and turn it into a Thing. Ya know--lots of bloggers and my lovely, lovely friends, such as Barbara Jones. You should come. I hope you do--we'll miss you otherwise. Just give me a ring on the 123Valerie at gmail.com line if you want the details and you promise not to be a weirdo.

So, that's next week, and we are happy about that.

I just want to sleep. My sisters and I have been in constant contact.

"I'm sad today," I said to Susie.

"Me too. I'm going to go make a snow angel on Mom's grave," she replied.

I, um, haven't been to my Mom's grave yet. Since she died in January, they had to wait to bury her. When they did, I just plain old, flat out, did not want to go. I feel really poorly about that. I send her virtual flowers all of the time, but even when I've visited Ohio, I haven't wanted to go. However, the thought of my lovely sister making a lone snow angel on our dead Mom's grave broke my heart.

"I wish I could be there with you. You'd make a beautiful snow angel," I snuffled, shifting some snot around my head.

I miss my family, my pretties. I am lonely, but at the same time, I need to be completely solitary--it's my Acquarius rising. Still, I wish all of you were sitting in my living room watching Back To the Future with me and eating popcorn, in addition to leaving your very sweet and thoughtful comments from across the miles. I am so blessed to have so very many wonderful, loving people in my life. So. Very. Many. I wake up every day thankful for each and every one of you. Please know that.

But, I am sad. This is a fairly new emotion for me, and I am trying it on for size. Like a bikini that shows more of my boobs than I am used to, it's not necessarily a bad thing, but I just have to get used to it. Sad is not bad. Pretending I am not sad is bad.

Oh, pooh, 123V. So many people have horrible lives. I do not. I have a great life with amazing people in it. I am blessed, and I am lucky. But, I am sad.

Not to worry, kids. Alice and I have taken a hiatus, due to her holiday schedule, but we have a session next week. That is a good thing, I do believe. You are good things, too. Please don't die on me any time soon, okay?

In the Comments section, tell me how you've been lately. For Pete's sake, would you please change the subject?