123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Hug It Out

I am a hugger.

I hug everyone and everything. Trees. My knees. Corners. I am indiscriminate and often inappropriate in my hugging.

I have hugged potential bosses on job interviews, the locksmith that AAA called to jimmy open my car door and the deli supervisor at my local Giant grocery store--ya'll, she ordered thick-sliced peppered bacon just for me. C'mon.

So, some of you may realize that I'm at at one of the world's driest, most conservative conventions EVER. It's a bunch of investors. This is not to say it isn't enjoyable or there aren't good people here, but there's a reason we use the term "suit" to describe an uptight individual (i.e. not prone to hugging).

Basically, this week is about hob-schmoozzling with a bunch of billionaire, white guys. I don't mind--I can hang with anybody, and good people is good people, whether you've got $3 in your pocket or $3 billion. The majority of them know me from past shows and understand that I am going to hug them no matter what.

Most of them embrace it (pun totally intended, kiddos). They fall into my bosom with a sigh of relief; in my heels, I tower over most of these guys.

A few, though, sort of brace themselves and go rigid as I approach. For those uncomfortable with my hugging, I have tried to modify it with a two-handed shake, but then I still lean in a la Carson Daly welcoming P Diddy to TRL, touching my shoulder to the chests of their Armani suits. (I know Carson Daly doesn't do TRL any more, kids, but I don't know the names of any of MTV's new spiky-haired whippersnappers, okay?)

As I was giving a particularly good hug to one of our guys tonight, it struck that I might be a little too soft for corporate America. Over his shoulder, I looked out at the sea of black pinstripes, and I suddenly felt very out of place in my kicky lavender suit.

In the Comments section, tell me if you like hugs. I will gladly give a hug to anyone to who wants it.

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  • At 11:27 PM , Blogger hyacinths and biscuits said...

    I'm the hugging champion of the world. I could live off of them.

    I think your lavender suit sounds wonderful. I've found that in situations like this, most people wear black or grey. Wearing a fun color helps people remember you. So does hugging.

  • At 12:56 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    Lavendar suit? you're awesome, val. You're like an individual... and we're all just like one big GROUP of individuals....

  • At 1:33 AM , Blogger Nosjunkie said...

    I have never gotten the hugging thing thanks for sort of explaining why people do that

  • At 6:42 AM , Blogger WanderingGirl said...

    *raises hand, jumps up and down* I'm a hugger! I'm a hugger! I come from a family of huggers. It's what former boyfriends have either found most enjoyable or most annoying about me. I don't do the early withdrawal either. The other guy has to break the hug. It's a personal rule.

  • At 6:52 AM , Anonymous The Sarcasticynic said...

    I work at an elementary school. Hugging sort of comes with the territory.

  • At 7:53 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    You need to do a rap video.

  • At 8:19 AM , Blogger mist1 said...

    Fantastic post.

    I am not a hugger. People have to get on my approved hugging list. I have a friend that is not only just a neck smeller as well. Sometimes, he asks me if he can hug me. I make him promise not to smell me and I will grant him a YMCA hug In case you are unfamiliar with the YMCA hug, that's a one armed hug implemented by the organization so that kids don't get molested by the background tested employees. I had a boss that went to sensitivity training at the Y. That's how I know.

    I'm pretty sure I'm just rambling now.

    You can hug me. Are you a neck smeller?

  • At 8:25 AM , Blogger Lee said...

    I hug my friends and even some of my acquaintances but hugging strangers requires liquor.

  • At 8:49 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Lavendar suit--I want pictures!!

    I love hugs...and kisses...and hugs...then more kisses

  • At 9:12 AM , Blogger Kristin said...

    You tower over them? Really? I'm trying to picture the pinstriped scene.

  • At 10:20 AM , Blogger you'dneverguess said...

    Hugging is one of my favorite things. I love to hug people long enough to feel that, I don't know, spark? That piece of love that's passed along when you really hug someone. I feel sorry for people who don't enjoy physical contact with other people.

  • At 10:36 AM , Blogger Dave said...

    I will often be the first to hug. I will almost always hug after now seeing someone for a long time.

  • At 12:20 PM , Anonymous Kirstin said...

    I could soooo use a hug today!!!

  • At 1:11 PM , Blogger Attention Whore said...

    Hugging is the ultimate greeting. I love to hug it out..and I too, feel sorry for the non-huggers out there. They musn't have been touched by human hands in their first half hour of life on this marble...

  • At 10:32 AM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    ***Ya'll, I am wicked hungover. Please forgive the lameness of my replies today. Kisses.

    Hy Biscuits, they give medals? That's awesome! The red hair also helps--or gets me in trouble. Hug to you.

    You're awesome, Matty. You know how much I love groups, so individuals or no, I'm glad you're around. Little known fact: I was on The White Rapper Show, but I got kicked off for being too dope. They couldn't handle how real I was. Hug to you.

    Mist, OH MY GOD--I can hug? Seriously? That made my day. I'm going to have to start training for that--weights and shakes and stuff. I am not a neck smeller with hugs, but I am in bed. My olfactory senses are supercharged, and I tend to pick up pheremone cues really well. Hug to you.

    Lee Baby, we got liquor, so let the strange hugging begin. Hug to you.

    I love what comes after hugs and kisses, FC&F. Hug to you.

    Kristin, it's weird. I'm only 5'9" or so in my heels, but all of these financial guys are compact. All those numbers weighing them down, maybe.Hug to you.

    Guess, I'm so with you. It's all about connection. There is an energy transfer involved with physical contact, which is why I'm so happy to having sex again on a (semi) regular basis. It just keeps me "right," ya know? Hug to you.

    Hi Dave, glad to have you! Men who hug are supa sexy. Hug to you.

    Aw, my darling K--there's on coming at you, baby. Hug to you.

    AW, that is a sad, sad thought. I was actually a premie and spent about a month in an incubator, so I think that's WHY I crave physical touch. Hug to you.

    Maybe it's a cultural thing, Nos. I need to come to South Africa and find out. I also need a cheeseburger.

    That's good to know, WG. We'll have to bring drinks and snacks if we ever meet cause we're gonna be a human tangle for a long time then. I'm just like you.

    Aw, Sarcastic, that's so cool. I can pee my pants and eat paste if it makes it more authentic for you.


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