123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Green Clovers, Purple Running Shoes and a Hidden Key, though I Didn't Find Any Red Balloons

As I pulled up to the gym parking lot tonight, Megan Jane and I finished up some over-the-phone Interweb investigatory work such as only two determined women using Google and feminine wiles can.

A bit distracted, like I was much of the day, I left my keys in the car. DICKstracted perhaps. A sex hangover. Too much peppermint tea. Whatevs I realized it when I went to swipe my membership taggy thing (what's that called--Brinki Dink? I know you what that's called). It was not there, but I've gotten to be somewhat of a regular, so I got the nod.

"What's up, Crunches? How ya doin'?" one of the trainers asked. I've earned the nickname fairly--I do them all of the time and with every sit up or ab twist, I exhale a, "Goddamnit." I hate them, and it will be nice to get evidence of them working.

But, I digress. As I said, I'm a little distracted.

I began my workout--it was an "arms" day, and I pondered my situation. I had two options. I could call AAA, who also knows me by name now. "What's up, Stupid Girl Who is Always Locking Your Flipping Keys in the Car and Running Out of Gas? How ya doin'?" Erm, no.

Or I could run home and get my spare set--get some cardio in, too, yo. So, I ran home--we're not far, maybe 1.5 miles round trip. As I breezed past the McDonald's near our house, I thought, "This whole situation would be so much better with a Shamrock shake."

No. No, it wouldn't.

But, with $2 in my pocket, I seriously had to talk myself out of it. "No, it would not, 123V. It's 20 degrees outside, you don't have any gloves and milk is NOT the drink of choice for runners, what with making your mouth all frothy and such. Not to mention all of those calories you just worked off."

In the end, good prevailed. Mostly because McDonald's isn't serving Shamrock shakes yet--February, kids. I checked; I'm only human, ya'll.

So, speaking of humans, today is a Happy, Happy Birthday for my amazing, lovelies Allison and Hannah Banana. Yay for being alive--it's good stuff.

And speaking of not being alive, thanks to all of you sweetkins for your kind words and thoughts today, especially my D.C. Sisters. I'm doing a'ight.

On a completely unrelated note, but possibly just as important as dear friends and Moms, I made oven fried catfish tonight for dinner (and greens and my dilled potato salad, 'cause I keep it real). Do you know what I used for the breading? Crushed up Goldfish crackers. Ya'll, the gods of irony were, like, high-fiving me the whole time.

In the Comments section, give Allison and Hannah Banana some good birthday wishes. Then tell me how you feel about McDonald's.

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16 Comments:

  • At 6:17 AM , Blogger WanderingGirl said...

    I was REALLY waiting to hear that you had run all the way home to discover the door was locked and with the keys in the car... well, you know.

    Happy Birthday to the lovelies!

     
  • At 7:51 AM , Blogger Nosjunkie said...

    I must say that I was kinda waiting for that one too it would be verry Valerie

     
  • At 8:25 AM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    Ronals McDonald can suck on my left titty most of the night and I'd feel the earth shake between my legs. I love some greasy sausage, cheese, biscuits for b'fast. Also love their warm moist cinammon rolls.

    3rd one here waiting on the 1.5 mile run back to your car with keys in hand. It's the sex, I know shugah!!

     
  • At 9:26 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    I love how Barbara Jones has absolutely nothing to do w/ this story but you're gonna drop names anyhow....

    I am counting down, Val. Forty-five days until St. Patrick's Day, the only time of year when I REALLY let my hair down. Last year, I was hospitalized.

     
  • At 10:20 AM , Blogger mist1 said...

    I fail to see the humor in battering fish. Abuse is a criminal act. Fish do not deserve to be battered.

     
  • At 12:44 PM , Blogger Attention Whore said...

    I love sex hangovers.
    Good to hear you're suffering from one. Haven't been around - I must catch up!!!

     
  • At 12:47 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I'm so glad I can unzip my car. No more locking the keys inside and lord knows I'm not running anywhere!

     
  • At 2:02 PM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Oh, you girls--we have a spare key in the backyard. Otherwise, I would've just broken a window.

    Just the left one, FC&F?

    It's all about the love, Matty. Everyone likes to see their name in print.Ye Gads on the St. Patty's Day festivities.

    You're right, Mist. I'm so sorry. I'll stick to flattering the fish. "You're so delicious, Mr. Catfish. I lurve your whiskers."

    Hey AW! How are things in Canada. So weird to see you--I had a dream about you last night. Swear to Pete--you were hosting a home decorating show, and your hair was long. It was a nice dream.

    Kristin, the zipper top is nice, but I keep too much crap in my car. Such as an Elvis lamp, a sewing machine and a bag of peanuts. Very valuable stuff.

     
  • At 9:50 PM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    My left one is much more sensitive for some reason.

     
  • At 10:52 PM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Good to know, honey. I will file that fact away for use at a later date.

     
  • At 11:06 PM , Blogger brinki dink said...

    I believe you may have been speaking of a FOB...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FOB

    What's up with the sexhangover? The people want the details.

     
  • At 3:00 AM , Blogger Attention Whore said...

    Holy crap I just spit diet coke all over my keyboard...you had a dream of me hosting a home decor show? Too freaking funny.
    I AM trying to grow the mop out...perhaps the dream of being as famous as Ty Pennington will come true too...
    I wish I was as hot as him. The only reason to kick him out of bed is to fuck him on the floor....

     
  • At 7:54 PM , Blogger hyacinths and biscuits said...

    what is this wonderful concoction that you speak of? I've never had a shamrock shake!

     
  • At 11:25 PM , Anonymous 123V said...

    FOB, FOB, FOB--I knew you'd come through, B Dink.

    AW, I might suggest that you swallow from now on. Mwaaa haa haa!

    HB, I will pray for you. The Shamrock shake is proof of God's love.

     
  • At 5:15 PM , Blogger Grampa said...

    Three words:

    Hide-A-Key

     
  • At 10:49 AM , Anonymous 123V said...

    Gramps, three words for you: Dogs In Sweaters.

    Two more: so cute.

    Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

     

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