123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Okay, Universe, You Win

Kids, there have been more than a few shake-ups this weekend. I'm feeling kind of lost at the moment.

Let's do this:

In the Comments section, give me the best piece of advice you ever got. About anything. Maybe something will apply to my situations. Yes. Plural. Situations.



  • At 11:02 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    "Belive in yourself; You're all you've got"--Janis Joplin

  • At 11:27 AM , Blogger Winter said...

    Live fast and die young.

  • At 12:27 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    My dad told me that I shouldn't stop practicing my magic.

    He put it in baseball terms. Sometimes, a pitcher does all the same things. Same warm up, same practice, same socks, same good luck charm...and the other team still wins. It doesn't mean that the pitcher's magic doesn't work. It just means that the other team's magic was stronger.

  • At 1:07 PM , Blogger Hey Pretty said...

    1.) Never go home with any man who wasn't talking to you at the party/bar before 1:00 am.

    2.) Always bring cab fare.

    That's all I got for now. More later, I promise. Email if you need anything.

  • At 1:23 PM , Blogger EsLocura said...

    My Mom use to say "no hay mal que por bien no venga" and " si quieres el perro, acepta las pulgas." She was a wise woman.

  • At 1:49 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    "I exist as I am, that is enough." - Walt Whitman.

    It's not exactly advice, but telling myself that helps me get through the days.

    Oh, always keep a quarter in your pocket; smile, even when you don't feel like it, and look both ways before crossing. (I'm sure I've got more. I'll think about it.)

  • At 2:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hmmm, well...there's a few.

    1) the grass may be greener on the other side, but remember, you have to mow it, fertilize it and water it.

    2) You will NEVER find a good man at a bar.

    3)Finally, this one: "Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, then it is of no use."
    Carlos Castaneda

    Hope you feel better!

  • At 4:49 PM , Blogger WanderingGirl said...

    My great Gram said to always have an aloe plant in the kitchen for when you get burned.

  • At 5:14 PM , Blogger Grampa said...

    1. Never trust the chinless.

    2. Eat the wounded. They're greeeat.

  • At 5:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    2nd orgasms CAN be better than the first. Give it a whirl. That's some damn good advice...from the expert!!

  • At 6:35 PM , Blogger Attention Whore said...

    "What good is it if it doesn't make you happy?" Anon

    "One must have chaos to give rise to a dancing star" Nietzsche

    "Be the change you want to see in the world" Gahndi

    "Love is always around and you can look for it anywhere
    When you feel that you've found it my advice is to take good care
    Never use it as a selfish tool
    Never ever be such a fool
    Every feeling you're showing
    Is a boomerang you're throwing
    Yes a bang, a boom-a-boomerang
    Dum-be-dum-dum be-dum-be-dum-dum
    Oh bang, a boom-a-boomerang
    Love is a tune you hum-de-hum-hum
    So give it away, I think you'll learn
    You'll get love in return" - ABBA

    "Fuck it, let's get loaded." - Awhore

  • At 7:44 PM , Blogger Jon said...

    Don't stand up in a canoe.

    (What? That's good advice!)

  • At 9:39 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    Never piss into the wind.

  • At 11:53 AM , Blogger Winter said...

    How's the online dating going?

  • At 2:16 PM , Blogger Hey Pretty said...

    Always be sure to wear a beige or "nude" colored bra under a white shirt. If you wear bras. But never a white one.

  • At 6:56 PM , Blogger Uhave said...

    Always trust your gut.

  • At 7:59 PM , Blogger Senor Caiman said...

    Don't have sex with that bitch she has herpes.

  • At 8:39 PM , Blogger MelO said...

    The best advice I ever got was to not take advice from anyone.

    I should probably divulge that I'm usually the first to hand it out... and accept other people's advice.

    So, I guess I completely didn't listen to that advice... which is kind of the point?

  • At 8:48 PM , Anonymous 123V said...

    Man, ya'll are awesome. Thank you so much. You fixed all of my problems. Now, can ya'll fix me a drink?

    Anonymous, that's lovely. I also liked that Janis liked bourbon, too.

    Winter, how about "come fast and dye your hair?"

    Mist, that is suprisingly beautiful. No joke.

    Kate-E-Did, it's like we have the same soul. Except that I NEVER wear bras.

    Senor, where were you LAST WEEK? Dammit.

    MelO, nothing wrong with being hypocrytical, my dear. Everything wrong with wearing a black shirt and brown shoes, though.

    Es Locura, there ISN'T any good that doesn't come from bad. Except maybe marshmellows. No, even them.

    Pookie Pants, you'd think I'd have learned #2 by now. I'm settling for a good enough man. Or woman.

    WG, will that help if it burns when I pee?

    Gramps, I HAVE A WEAK CHIN. Seriously. I got it from my Dad. What now?

    FC&F, you're the first one I come to when I need an orgasm. I mean orgasm advice.

    AW, as ALWAYS you're the voice of reason.

    Jonny Pom Pom, it really is. 'Cause you could knock the beer into the water.

    Matty, Jim Croce said that. Scratch that: Never spit into the wind. Also, don't mess around with Jim.

    Uhavegot2bkiddn, what if I have irratible bowl syndrome?

  • At 10:46 PM , Blogger Kayla said...

    My dad used to always say "Kid, don't shit where you eat!"... That's cause I have a knack for workplace 'romance'. ;)

  • At 12:23 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    What? You don't like my advice? Sheesh... :) Hope you're feeling better.

  • At 1:16 PM , Blogger Awkward said...

    No wine before 9:00 (am). That the only advice that has ever served any purpose to me. Good luck, hope things are looking up!


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