123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Online and Off My Rocker

Me: Hi. I appreciate that you write so openly about your sexual nature in your profile. I agree with you that all sex is natural ... provided there are no animals or children.

Travis313: Yeah, I mean as long as there are no real children. Role play can be cool, though.

Me: [complete pause in the typing while I make that "eww" face at my computer screen.] No. Not like that, it can't. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

So, the online dating continues. I had a lovely date tonight--Doug_From_Pittsburgh. Not a love connection as of yet, but most certainly a "like" connection.

Odd, though, I have another meet 'n greet tomorrow at the same restaurant where Doug_From_Pittsburgh and I went--I wonder if the wait staff will think I'm a hussy? Before tonight's date, the last time I went to said restaurant, #1Laura and I left our numbers for two of the dudes who worked there. Because we are classy like that.

My note read something like, "U R hot. Call me!" I can't imagine why I never heard from the curly-haired waiter in section 3. It could have been so beautiful ...

I'll keep yins posted on this weekend's remaining dates if you promise to keep Travis313 far, far, far away from me. For the record, role playing in any scenario is never cool, (it might be sexy, but not cool) but especially when it involves pretending fornication with a child. 123V has spoken, and it is so.

In the Comments section, tell me if you've ever found love or like or lust from a Web site. I need a pep talk, my pretties.

Labels:

14 Comments:

  • At 7:03 AM , Blogger Lee said...

    If you are an 8.5 or higher, I got a DC guy for you! (Mr. Brunet)

    I'm big into living vicariously, so yes! Do please keep us updated! One wonders how young that guy likes his widdle girls to roleplay....yikes!

     
  • At 7:59 AM , Blogger EsLocura said...

    yikes, the web is scary, I have found love, like and lust on the web but I forgot to bookmark the pages and now I can't find them again. damn it.

     
  • At 7:59 AM , Blogger Love Monkey said...

    sure have! Fatso and I met online ten years ago back in the day of html chat rooms.

    Someone once said "meeting someone online allows you to get to know them from the inside out."

     
  • At 11:03 AM , Blogger mist1 said...

    Why yes, yes I have. A deeply immersed in adoration for him. It makes my friends disgusted with me. I could go on here about him, but I don't want you to be disgusted with me too.

     
  • At 4:57 PM , Blogger WanderingGirl said...

    Take mace. And condoms.

    I believe either could be useful.

    Good luck!

     
  • At 9:24 PM , Blogger Matt said...

    I know you have sex with animals, Valerie.

     
  • At 11:33 PM , Blogger hyacinths and biscuits said...

    I got a random myspace friend request from someone a while ago and they sent me a message indicating that they think I'd be really hot in a diaper. Naturally, I was overcome with horrific curiosity and looked at his page. He, and all of his 10,000 myspace friends, had a bunch of pictures of themselves in diapers. Apparently some people think that's hot? Maybe it was Travis313 - the myspace edition.

    Anyway, I'm not sure pretending to be a baby would ever turn me on. In fact, I'm sure it wouldn't. Please stay away from him.

     
  • At 10:59 AM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    Web stuff scares me...unless it's harmless back and forth sex talk that turns everybody on!

     
  • At 5:47 PM , Blogger Spellbound said...

    My nephew met and married a lovely girl he met on the internet. They were both honest and practical about their needs and expectations. It was sort of like an arranged marriage. They talked at legnth about everything before they met. Once they met in real life, they married about 2 months later. It's been a year now and they are both very happy.

     
  • At 9:23 PM , Blogger Starboard Tack said...

    You were exactly right to delete that guy immediately -- I cannot imagine a bigger red flag!

     
  • At 8:38 AM , Blogger Hey Pretty said...

    Ugh, men. Unbelievable. And people ask me why I'm single.

    I have found many things on the web in terms of lust/like and whatnot. But mostly gigantic headaches.

     
  • At 9:04 AM , Blogger Johnny DC said...

    Can I play this game?

    Do leather codpieces turn you on?

    What??? I saw it in a movie...

     
  • At 9:55 PM , Blogger WanderingGirl said...

    So, did you survive?

     
  • At 11:12 PM , Anonymous 123V said...

    Lee Baby, my boobs are a 23 on a scale of 10. Hey wait--someone else wrote that somewhere. Why haven't we MIRLed yet, pretty mama?

    Es Locura, I actually bookmarked my favorite porn site, which is all fine and good except that I use a work-funded laptop. Doh!

    Love Monkey, that's lovely. Especially from someone who has had a cyber sex-related injury.

    Mist, ain't love grand? I would neer be disgusted with you--it's not like YOU would stuff pot in a maxi pad.

    WG, your concern is touching. Too bad no one is touching me. No need for either. Boo.


    Mattress, it was one time, and I was broke. Shurt urp.

    Hy Biscuits, that is truly, truly disturbing, my dear. Thank you.


    FC&F, but of course. I tried sexy chat once, and only once. I need both hands to type ...

    Spellbound, that is a lovely story, and it gives me hope. I wish I could be smarmy about this, but I can't.

    Thanks for the support, ST. Men behaving like babies is bad enough .. .

    Kate, that's why I'm so thankful for you girls. Ick.

    Johnny Guitar, you know they do, honey. You don't even have to ask.

     

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