123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

So, What You're Saying Is That You're Mad?

I'm generally pretty good about realizing when I piss people off.

One time, I ate JennyJenny8675209's leftover cheeseburger that she intended to give to Wonder Dog Bean. And, once when I was six I called my sister "thunder thighs" without realizing exactly what that meant. Then there was that time I fucked my ex-boyfriend's best friend.

Yeah. That was no good.

But, I understood that they were upset, which unwound me, and I did my best to make amends.

So, I was a little surprised today when I sent out a mass text message requesting some of my friends' e-mail addresses and recieved a hearty, "Fuck Off!" from an acquaintance.

Now, to be fair, this guy has a history of mental imbalance, as do most of my friends. But I honestly could not recall any trespass against him. Even Janee (accent above the final e) drew a blank.

Our connecting factor, though, was that he and I were regulars at my all-time favorite watering hole, Joseph's Bar and Grill on 6th Street in Canton, Ohio. It's affectionately known as Joe's to anyone who cares about it.

Point is, chances are good that the last time we saw each other, I was in the cups. But, I'm a very happy drunk, not one to start any rabble rousing, so it seems unlikely that I would have committed any offense deserving of a simple, solid, "Fuck Off!"


In the Comments section, tell me what you think I did. The winner gets a punch in the face from me. Just kidding--that's exactly what I DON'T do when I'm drinking. You're more likely to get a pat on the bottom.



  • At 2:03 PM , Anonymous Slick said...

    Rejected his advances??

  • At 2:41 PM , Blogger Scott said...

    I'm guessing he's kidding...on a number of occassions people haven't gotten my jokes or I theirs when emailing or IMing, it's too easy to do when you can't see each others faces.

  • At 3:17 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I'm with slick. He's dealing with rejection. Though, Scott might be right. (He is right some times.)

  • At 4:58 PM , Blogger othurme said...

    I'm thinking he was your ex-boyfriend's best friend's boyfriend.

  • At 5:13 PM , Blogger EsLocura said...

    I'm going with the whole rejection thing, men are like that sometimes. Of course maybe he is just pissed you were drunk and he wasn't, it's all about him.

  • At 8:12 PM , Blogger Senor Caiman said...


    Maybe he had beat-off right before he saw you and he was pissed because he couldn't replenish his juices fast enough. I know that gets me on edge.

  • At 11:13 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    I get that response all the time. I just figure that clearly, these people are deranged. I can't hold them accountable for that.

    Also sometimes, I stick my tongue down someone's throat and forget their number.

  • At 6:59 AM , Blogger Akelamalu said...

    Forgot it was your round?

  • At 8:47 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    Huh. I know it wasn't me but I can understand the impulse.

    One of these days, Val! One of these days, POW! Right in the kisser!

  • At 10:40 AM , Anonymous 123Valerie said...

    Slick, that seems the most likely scenario. I have to beat 'em off with a stick.

    Scotty, I dunno. This cat wasn't known for his sense of humor--more his dark, brooding moods and mental instability.

    Kristin, always the voice of reason. What can I say? I'm a heartbreaker.

    Oooh, I'm busted Other Me. Yeah. I won't be making that mistake again.

    Es L, he was kind of a selfish bugger. But, there's plenty of alcohol in the sea to drink like fishes. Or something.

    Senor, sex is supposed to be a stress RELIEVER, not creator. We need to examine your technique, mon frere.

    Mist, clearly. It's not us; it's them.

    Akelamalu, that's certainly possible. I usually rely on my boobs to get me drinks, though.

    You shut your face, Matty. Or I'll shut it for ya.

  • At 11:01 AM , Blogger Lee said...

    Maybe you hit on him by calling him "thunder thighs"?

  • At 11:37 AM , Anonymous Kirstin said...

    Oh Good Old Joe's. It is just not the same without you!! Perhaps you didn't do anything maybe he just misses you as much as the rest of us and this is his mentally unstable way of exspressing that. Maybe it my mental instabily that can rationalize such a reaction. Who Knows?

  • At 11:55 AM , Blogger Hey Pretty said...

    Perhaps he's developed a case of late on-set tourettes and that's his way of saying hello?

  • At 12:34 PM , Blogger James Burnett said...

    I agree with Slick. Maybe you shut this guy down once, and he felt that was equivalent to stepping on his schlong. Humiliating...and painful, I guess.

    Or could be he's secretly gay, and he's angry 'cause you got drunk one time you don't remember and slept with his boyfriend too.

  • At 3:54 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Did you drink his drink or something? I think you should stick with the mental imbalance on this one.

  • At 3:59 PM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Lee Baby, that was definitely it. I may have also said something about "Fatty Fatty 2 by 4."

    So, Kirstin, are you saying you want me to start our conversations with a "Fuck Off!" now? I'll do it because I love you that much.

    Kate, that's *motherfucker* probably it, *shit fire asshole!*

    James Burnett, is your wife abusing you? It's a safe place. You can tell your Interweb friends.

    Pookie Pants, if anyone knows mental imbalance, it's me.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home