It's Not Me; It's You

I'm a good breaker-upper. I really am.

I have a fool-proof method, provided you're attracted to men with penises.

I'm so sorry this isn't going to work out. Your penis is just too big. It's painful for me, literally, but I have to walk away.

That's how it's done. Feel free to use that. None of this, "I just don't think we're a good fit. I don't have a lot of time right now. I'm freaked out because you're missing a pinky toe."

Nope. Just let them down while building them up. Dude thinks he has a huge wang, and I get away scott free.

I recently had a situation at work that was similar to a break up. I've accepted another position within the company for all of the right reasons: more moola, better title, less hours. But, having to tell my boss was a little like saying, "Yeah ... it's not me; it's you."

Awkward! Weird! It made my tummy all fizzy. I had palm sweat. But, it had to be done. My new co-workers are going to put "123Valerie, Superstar" on the name plate for my office.

My first choice was, "123Valerie: She has a great rack." But, we all decided that it might work better on my new business cards.

In the Comments section, tell me about a bold move you've made lately. OR what you want on the name plate for your office. The winner gets to help me with my yard work (Megan Jane's gonna appreciate that one.)