123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Corn and Stretch Pants Are Going to Save Me

I was at the grocery store and saw a "Sale: Discontinued" sign next to a bunch of dried beans, and it made me very, very sad.

"People don't want to take the time to cook dried beans anymore," I thought to myself. "We're such spoiled society that if it weren't for baked beans, I bet they'd probably just 'discontinue' beans all together."

And then I realized how ridiculous that was. I might be a little depressed.

So, I'm taking a trip to Ohio to see my loved ones this weekend. It's also time for my dear Janee to harvest her shrimp. In landlocked Ohio.

Ten hours in the car, a 12-pack of beers with the gang and plucking on my six string, should get me right as rain ...

Or more miserable and homesick than I already am.

Either way, I'll get to eat some BBQ Corn Nuts bought specially from my favorite truck stop in Breezewood, PA, and don't nothing cure the soul like eating deep-fried corn kernels with artificial barbecue flavoring whilst on the open road.

I'm trying to get my act together, my pretties. And I've been doing so much soul searching and praying and meditating and journaling and walking and drinking that I was CERTAIN that my path would be revealed.

But, it has not been. For the first time in my 27 years, I don't have a big picture. I do not have a plan. I'm wide open.

Janee's Mom said something once that really stuck with me: "Sometimes, you can be so open-minded that stuff falls out of your head."


I need a focus. Lately it's been perfecting the muzak for my babycakeses' Glynnie and Hot Sauce Flo Dad's wedding ceremony, but that's coming up in early October.

After the celebration, I haven't a clue what's going to propel me forward. Unfortunately, I find myself single again (sorry to all of you who've had to endure my ramblings during that scene). I'm also without any real place to call "home" and many of my friends are trickling out of D.C. Megan Jane's been gone for two whole months now.

I'm revisiting old plans and aspirations in the hopes that something will click.

Looking back at one of the times in my life when I recall being really happy and carefree, a lot of folks knew me as "Beans," because I looked like a beanpole.

Perhaps it's just a coincidence, but I also wore a lot of stirrup stretch pants during that period.

So, I'm not taking my chances on messing up the happiness formula. Henceforth, I'd like for you all to call me Beans and don't hate when you see my rocking the stirrup pants and long T-shirt munching on some BBQ Corn Nuts.

It's been a tough couple of weeks.

In the Comments section, tell me about the time when you were happiest. Bonus points if it involved beans, Corn Nuts or stirrup pants.



  • At 6:07 AM , Blogger Sturdy Girl said...

    I made a decision to be happy recently, so I'm happy pretty much every day because I refuse to be otherwise (except in traffic.) I've discovered that more things than I originally thought make me happy on a daily basis.

    So -I think you're doing the right thing- you know you need to do something that makes you happy, so you're doing it - a road trip and your favorite junk food!

    Perfect! This is how it's done.

    PS - Thanks for the comment - Glad you're back!

  • At 6:12 AM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I'm actually happy most of the time except, you know, when I thought I might have breast cancer. That was scary. Other than that, though: happy.

    I find that driving serves as a balm to the troubled soul. So do friends and music. And sometimes, I just need to be lost for a while.

  • At 7:24 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    happiest? I'd say now. But it took quite a bit of changing my perception of happiness. Since happiness is an ideal and not really a state of being, even though one can be happy in general.

    I think you are going through a normal phase and when you see your path, you'll recognize it and be prepared for it.

    Stirrup pants suck. Unless they are jophers with tall boots. Equestrian looks rock.

  • At 9:19 AM , Anonymous Franki said...

    Oh God I had these purple leather (plastic) tight ass stirrup pants. I wore them with my long gold paisley Prince trench coat looking thing. I'm not even gonna mention the hair.

    Hang in there doll. Have a good trip and sing a lil happy into ya.

  • At 12:56 PM , Blogger Akelamalu said...

    You're single again???? :(

    Now it just so happens that when I met MWM (1964)stirrup pants were the 'in thing' fashion wise so obviously I wore them all the time. Apart from when we got back together in 1972 that was my happiest time - you could say I was full of beans! :)

  • At 3:13 PM , Blogger CamiKaos said...

    I haven't thought of BBQ corn nuts in YEARS... Why don't I eat those things anymore.. I would tell you about something that makes me happy except I have to run to the store to see if they carry bbq corn nuts... RIGHT NOW.

  • At 7:14 PM , Blogger Debbie said...

    My stirrup pants made me happy. They were black with Christmas themed stuff all over them. Little Wreaths and Santas and Rudolphs and Elves.
    Actually, now that I think about it, they were probably horrifying. In more ways than one.
    I need some Corn Nuts to get past this.


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