123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Weird Val Yankovic

Note: I've had several e-mails asking, "Is this about me?"

The answer is, "Yeah, probably," but that doesn't mean I wrote it with you in mind. If you're feeling moved or are uncomfortable with any of the statements I made here, then it might be a right good time to take a gander a ye olde life. Nurtin' but lurve.


When I signed on, all I really wanted to write is that "people are weird."

Not in a serial-killer, pedophiliac or I-love-scrunchies-and-wear-cat-sweatshirts kind of way—just in a sadly amusing, shake-your-head sense.

But then I didn't want to be vague and "mysterious," especially since ya'll came over to say hi, so I was trying to figure out what exactly prompted me to think this and, further, move me to write it down, especially after weeks of drunken stupor silence.

Well, I guess there are some folks lately who not only aren't doing what they want to do, including perhaps myself, but who aren't doing what they need to do to take care of themselves. I think that's weird. Like, a lot weird. A lot. A LOT.

Weird, I say. (Write.)

While being selfish is a fault, I think being selfless is a fault, too.

I know because I was that selfless girl for many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many years.

Many of them.

I gave up food, sleep, tranquility, dreams, money, love, happiness, goals, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, self respect, honesty and peace, all for the sake of others. Or so I thought.

I mean, yeah--at the moment, that person probably enjoyed the shot of love and generosity I gave them. But I needed the feeling of superiority and being free from phantom guilt a hell of a lot more.

And I know the recipients of my sacrifices never stayed up nights worrying about me, while I, on the other hand, lost countless hours of sleep and more than a few pounds on their behalves.

(Which, I know seems odd now to those of you who know and love my kickin' curves, but not so long ago, this 5' 7" frame carried a mere 98 pounds. I'm now 150, and my boobs and I are looking damn good, if I do say so myself, so you do the scary, sad math.)

Anyhoo, trouble is, all that "sacrifice" ever got me was a lot of bad memories and some etchy-sketchy credit card debt. Boo, hiss.

Overlooking my own needs never once made me as content as saying, "I'm sure there's a way we can compromise so we all get what we want." Never. Not once. Not one, single time.

People who have reached a safe place in their lives appreciate and thrive on compromise. Everyone gives, everyone gets.

People who could probably benefit from some meditation and quiet time either give and give and give and give and give, or take and take and take and take and take. I'm no Dr. Drew, kids, but this is why I gravitate toward folks who keep an even keel and keep it reals.

It doesn't mean that I don't lose my head and my heart and my focus sometimes. The Good Lord and all of his poker buddies know I do. It just means that I'm able to right the teeter-totter fairly quickly when I do get off balance.

Or, at least if I can't right it, I can recognize the injustice and yell, "It's not right! I don't want any more cherry bumps! Get me off of this ride!"

So, yeah. People are weird, but I'm right there with them, I suppose. And I wouldn't have it any other way right now.

But, I don't have a flipping clue how to make any of the situations better, and that sucks.

In the Comments section, tell me what your favorite thing on the playground was. I was a monkey bars kind of gal.

Labels:

19 Comments:

  • At 12:31 AM , Blogger WendyB said...

    So HOW many years was that?
    I fell off the monkey bars once and got a fat lip :-(

     
  • At 12:50 AM , Blogger 123Valerie said...

    Wendy B, my love, I'm like 86 in dog years.

     
  • At 10:24 AM , Blogger The Maiden Metallurgist said...

    I loved the tire swing.

    I'm always worried my friends will think something I write is about them, or misinterpret something I say.

     
  • At 10:46 AM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I like the merry-go-round. All that spinning. These days, though, I just prefer the swings. Either way, I'm getting nowhere but at least the latter doesn't make me puke.

     
  • At 11:01 AM , Anonymous Hey Pretty said...

    The impulse to help those in need is an admirable one, but all too often there's a tinge of judgement in there from those who think they're helping. People who are having a rough go of it need support, not theories about what might be wrong with them.

    playground equipment always scared me.

     
  • At 1:11 PM , Blogger lorelai236 said...

    Good for you, Lady. Take care of yourself. You don't know how special you are to this world, but that doesn't mean you should sacrifice your own life or happiness--not for anyone!!

    If it counts, I loved playing Chinese jump rope. While rockin the scrunchie and cat sweater, of course :)

     
  • At 4:26 PM , Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

    I was a monkey bars kind of guy, but only to stand under them and watch up the girls' dresses.

     
  • At 4:27 PM , Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

    "...my boobs and I are looking damn good..."

    Oh, and I think that should be up to the readers to decide.

     
  • At 4:27 PM , Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

    I'm just sayin'.... heh.

     
  • At 4:35 PM , Blogger Suze said...

    I once fell off the monkeybars and cut my head open. Apparently I forgot that to hang upside, some part of the body had to stay connected to the bars. My bad.

    I liked swings.

     
  • At 4:41 PM , Anonymous krok14 said...

    Valerie,

    You have red hair and nice boobs, don't be greedy.

    I just got back from seeing Witless Protection starring Larry the cable guy. I was the only person at the 2 oclock showing. It was wonderful. You need to see it.

    I just adopted a Golden retriver with ear infections. I never new ear infections could smell so nasty. Do you clean your ears well?

     
  • At 6:42 PM , Blogger Winter said...

    Is this post about me?

     
  • At 10:03 AM , Blogger Woodrow said...

    If we're limited to playground equipment, then the swings. But tackle football was king on our playground.

     
  • At 12:05 PM , Blogger Del-V said...

    I liked anything I could climb on.

     
  • At 12:47 PM , Blogger pistols at dawn said...

    I have no idea what this is about, and I think that's a good thing for me and my life, but I hope you and whoever else feels better.

    No one ever thinks that what I'm writing is about them, because they know I'm far too focused on me to do that.

     
  • At 10:46 AM , Blogger James Burnett said...

    150 lbs, sounds a lot sexier than 96, unless you're 4'7".

    also, i was a monkey bars kid too. the sliding board didn't provide enough of an adrenaline rush, and all the spinny stuff made me woozy.

     
  • At 12:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I can't get the picure of Jesus sitting around playing poker out of my head!!!
    I was a monkey bar gal, too. Oh and the see saw.

    ~Kirstin~

     
  • At 5:57 PM , Anonymous Franki said...

    Wait....there are Other people?

    Holy shit.

     
  • At 10:21 AM , Blogger Amanda said...

    There is this fantastic playground next to Austin's mom's house. I love the teeter totter there.. just something about it. :-)

     

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