Does Not Taste Like Chicken

Twice yesterday I had intimate contact with flavored latex.

Reclined in the dentist's chair, my mouth agape, I asked the hygienist, "Arg youth warrrrng fwaverd gwobes?"

"Yeah, my gloves are grape flavored."

"No thit," came my reply. They've thought of everything.

My second latex connection came because I am expecting company this weekend from my lovely Connect-I-Cut-ians Adelka Ann and Justin P. (check the sidebar "Who in the Hell is She Talking About?" for details, my pretties.)

Anyhoo, I was trying to ready my room for them and remove any questionable items. As it was, I only had limited time so I settled on removing only the overtly questionable items like the collection of vibrators and flavored lubes I am reviewing. (I know, I know. A sex toy reviewer who isn't getting any. The irony is NOT lost on me, kids.)

In the mix of this stuff were some French vanilla flavored condoms. For the first time, I noticed the "Calorie Free!" stamp. Later that evening, grumbling about the stupid diet, I had another rare sweet tooth attack.

Imagine JennyJenny8675309's surprise when she caught me making out with the empty condom.

Ever the generous soul I said, "Want some?"

She did not.

In the Comments section, tell me the weirdest thing you've ever eaten. The winner will get a batch of blue raspberry flavored condoms that do not sound AT ALL appealing to me.