123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Into the Groove

After an obnoxious amount of tater tots and a 14-hour Law & Order SVU marathon, I finally feel strong enough to try and piece together the events of last night.

As Matty reports, my friend, Queen Z, did in fact win a most dangerous happy-hour set up: $20 all you can drink for a solid three hours. Ooof. I trained for weeks before to get into top shape.

Lisa Lisa and I made our way to the bar and waited for the gang while trying to keep our drinks roofie free--no easy task at a college bar where the bartender ripped off beer caps with his teeth. That can't be hygienic.

Fortunately, the troops filtered in: Matty, Kate and #1Laura arrived looking all hot and stuff.

I was working on a personal best--replacing my blood with bourbon. The unfortunate side effect was that I spent most of the night in the loo. Apparently, this place is known for getting people obliterated because it had a lotion lady whose sole purpose was to pump soap for me, hand me paper towels and remind me to "pull up your damn pants."

I have guilt issues and thus forked over a small fortune in tips to the lotion lady and heaped on praise like, "Wow! You dispense soap so well!" I tried to hug her, but she was Not. Having. It.

However, one of my many trips to the restroom did yield some superior hugging.

I was drying my hands with the paper towel the lotion lady handed me when I heard, "Val!" coming across the bathroom. My name can be found on a lot of bathroom walls, so I wasn't too surprised at first. But then I looked up to see a lovely sprite of a woman and, behold, it was my friend Tinz--in town to visit with some college friends of hers and Megan Jane's who had converged in D.C. Wheeee! Surprise!

See, Tinz is one of my beloved D.C. Sisters, an online women's group. I've come to know her over the past year, but last night was the first we've met in person.

Oh, there was much hugging and squealing, and I was glad to still be in the bathroom because I kind of peed my pants a little bit. After the rejoicing, I returned my focus to the matter at hand: getting el drunko ridiculoso. Megan Jane Barbara Jones, Har Har Harwell, Sean P.K. and EJ all showed up to help out, too!

I am sorry to report that I knocked back enough bourbon to put my brain to sleep, thus my limbs took over and said, "Dance! Dance, I say!"

I wasn't the only one afflicted with this malady, as some of your favorite bloggers were definitely shaking their groove things. And trying to start fights. In my defense, I never said Matty's Dad "died." I said "passed." If the guy would have listened, he would have heard the full story: "His Dad passed ... out Sweet Tarts at Halloween."

In any case, the guy actually gave me a hug afterward, so all's well that ends well. I'm going to apply to the United Nations and put my diplomacy skills to work. Hugo Chavez is a nut case, but I think he just needs a good hug.

Talking with Megan Jane this morning, she said something that struck me: "You know, V, half the fun of going out is debriefing about it the next day." So true. Well, actually, most of the fun comes from making out with cute boys. Not me, sad to say (High five Lisa Lisa and #1Laura!), though Matty did give me a noogie, and I repeatedly dropped it like it was hot with some of my favoritist peeps. Erm, nah. I still would have preferred the making out.

In the Comments section, tell me if you've ever been in a fight and/or if you like SVU or Criminal Intent more. I lurve Vincent Donofrio, but the SVU kids just come more correct, ya know?

Labels: , ,


  • At 11:55 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    I really, really like SweetTarts. I wish that I could have met Matty's dad.

  • At 1:11 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    WOW what an exciting weekend! Drop it like its hawt... drop it like its hawt.

    I have never watched that show. If only they made a porn version I might could have helped you out.

  • At 8:45 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    My dad "would have" liked the Mist One....

    And thanks for the help, Valerie. The reason that guy hugged you was because you saved his from certain embarassment at the hands of yours truly.

    Don't worry. That won't happen again. Next time, I won't fast for 24 hours and start drinking at noon.

  • At 8:49 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    Oh, and I had a gfriend who'd have to watch SVU: Special Victims Unit every single night before bed.

    I don't know what's wrong w/ you women. A good tale about ass-raping does not set me up for a night of dreaming.

  • At 10:44 AM , Blogger Hey Pretty said...

    I don't care for SVU. Too creepy for my tastes. Funny, I had tater tots yesterday as well.

    Also, apologies for being such a grump on Saturday. I had forgotten that loud music, crowds and 20 minute waits for drinks do rather bad things to my sunny disposition. McFaddens had me feeling all sorts of old.

  • At 11:07 AM , Blogger Matt said...

    Hey Pretty,

    You know, I didn't realize it until Val pointed out that it was a college bar. At 30, you need a place that's a little less "charged," a bit quieter and with far shorter drink lines.

    I had to tip $5 just to get the bartender's attention for my open-bar Yuengling. That ain't right.

  • At 12:20 PM , Blogger Lee said...

    You've got an interesting trend here 123. Blogging about drinking with bloggers! It's hysterical!

    And I don't know about either of those shows...got no idea what they are.

  • At 1:00 PM , Blogger you'dneverguess said...

    You guys have so much fun! I'm jealous. I want to come and party with all of you for just the weekend. Then you all could fly out to California and party with us. I make excellent breakfast. Biscuits and gravy or pancakes? Both? Super!
    Unfortunately I have been in fights. I was much younger and haven't been in one in many years. I've gotten pretty close though. FYI, if someone offers you Duck Farts, drink them carefully, they cause anger.
    I think I like Criminal Intent better.
    Thanks for the tag Val. As soon as my brain is right I'll post.

  • At 5:26 PM , Blogger James Burnett said...

    Sorry, you lost me after $20 all you can drink. I was dreaming beyond that point.

    Anyway, big fan of Vincent D. However, I think the plot lines of SVU flow more smoothly. So I like that show better. But the original is still the best, I think.

  • At 8:10 PM , Anonymous Kirstin said...

    I really like them both. And i watch them both before I go to bed. And then i leave the TV on and wake up to COach and eatch JAG while I get ready for work.. God I am pathetic, I need to get a life!!!!

  • At 8:19 PM , Blogger Senor Caiman said...


    Your story makes no sense. How could you not have made out with a guy? A guy will go after any woman even the trolls after a few drinks. I remember having sex with a booth once. It was one of those soft ones with a crease in the middle.

  • At 11:12 PM , Anonymous 123V said...

    Yeah, Mist, Matty's Dad was a real Sweet Heart.

    FC&F, they should make a porn version of everything.

    I was just glad to get a hug, Matty. It's one step away from being felt up.The SVU is creepy, I'll grant you that, especially when followed up by a little masturbation before bed time.

    AW, Kate, lucky for you I was too drunk to notice. Just glad to see you, lovey.

    Lee Baby, very soon, you could have your very own drunken outing with us. I'm going to pimp the group out as drinking buddies.

    Guess, you have a standing invite, and while I would never turn down your hospitality, if I had to eat pancakes, I'd barf. I can't do sweet in the morning. Or ever, really.

    James Burnett, always the voice of reason.

    K, honey, if you need to get a life, then I am doomed.

    Senor, I said I didn't make out with any boys. I did not say that I didn't make out at all.

  • At 12:32 PM , Anonymous Tinz said...

    Yes, Val...I thought I'd pee my pants when I met you, but I didn't know how much I literally meant it, being that I met you in the bathroom which I had to use so badly! haha SO AWESOME we we finally met!!! What a great story!

  • At 2:03 PM , Blogger Lee said...

    As long as there's no pics. My secret ninja identity must not be compromised.

  • At 10:12 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I'm a firm believer in the hashing, the rehashing. There is no night out without the debriefing.

  • At 12:06 AM , Anonymous 123V said...

    Tinzy Mama! I'm already planning the next outing--there may be Depends involved.

    Lee Baby, whatever it takes. No photos, I promise. Maybe stick drawings, tho.

    Kristin, maybe it's a Cambridge thing?


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home