123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

It's Gonna Take A Lot More Than Some Feng Shui to Straighten This Out

I'm having a hard time concentrating today. The state of my office may or may not have something to do with it.

I am sad to say that this is a pretty typical state of affairs. I have this notion that the messier my desk is, the more busy and important I look. Or, ya know, sloppy and disorganized. Whatevs. (By the way, I did not receive any monetary compensation from the fine folks who make Cheez-Its. But, I'm willing to pimp my blog out if they're interested.)

This is what I look at every day. The reflexology foot chart came from my Mom's office. She was a massage therapist for about 25 years, and it reminds me of her. Especially how she touched naked men's buttocks and such. It's nice to feel connected to her.

That sideways painting was done by my superiorly talented friend, Bonita. It is sideways because there was already one nail there, and I keep forgetting to have our building guys make another one. The girls down the hall say this lady looks like Donna in accounting. I've never met her, though, so I can't verify.

And yes, nerds, that's a Star Wars painting. I'm not a fan, but I like kitsch, as noted by the bowling plaque on the file cabinet ...

which is totally just for show. Shout out to #1Laura for the pack of Vernor's Ginger Ale. It's a Northern Ohio thing. You wouldn't understand.

This is my door. And these are the many notes I place on the outside of my door to explain why I am not in my office, including the "doctor's appointment," walking Wonder Dog Bean and picking up lunch from Moby Dick's.

Speak of the devil. Well, if loving kubideh and falafel is wrong, I don't want to be right. This is kind of command central. Even my to-do lists are chaotic. The Girl Scout cookies help, though.

So does my main man, Elvis.

Um, there's really no way to explain these. Your guess is as good as mine.

In the Comments section, tell me about your work space. The winner gets a can of Vernor's.



  • At 6:20 PM , Blogger Matt said...

    Bean dog is cute.

  • At 6:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    My work place is filled with puke and diarrhea oh and a coworker named dickhead. Aren't you glad you asked?

  • At 7:18 PM , Blogger EsLocura said...

    I don't have a work space, since I don't work, but I guess I can comment on my house because, well, I sort of work there, it's a mess, I still have boxes from my Boston to Puerto Rico move which I haven't unpacked and I moved here 2 yrs ago. I wonder if I really need what's in them?

  • At 7:29 PM , Anonymous Kirstin said...

    Boy, I thought my work space had, what I call character, until I saw yours!! I laughed out loud looking at your work space!! you are too funny!!!

  • At 8:06 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    Ever since I moved from my home office (read: couch) to an office where I actually have to walk outside to get there, I have had to clean up my act. There are no more panties in my desk. There is no glass of wine next to the scanner.

    Now, I have a desk adorned with fish trinkets. I have a glass fish, a fish painted on glass, tiny fish plates, two fish boxes, a fish music box I bought in some European country that I think still exists, and a fish tile.

    I'm not more productive there, which was sort of the goal.

  • At 9:25 PM , Blogger Lee said...

    I'd say the oddest thing on my workspace is a ramen wrapper. I was dyin for something crunchy and salty so I busted open the Roast Chicken flavor. Licked it and dipped it in the Raosted Chicken powder. Pretty good!

    I must be PMSing.

  • At 9:36 PM , Blogger Senor Caiman said...


    Every time i lick the cheeto dust off my fingers I get a runny nose.

    In my younger days I had an office but now I just walk around and talk to people.

  • At 6:54 AM , Anonymous Megan Jane said...

    Hmmmmmmmmm...what is that round, dark colored item I notice hanging there on the wall???
    Could it be??? Er, um...well, yes, I think it is!

  • At 7:03 AM , Blogger Akelamalu said...

    I have been off work since the end of February and have just heard from a colleague that a new person is now using my workspace! I don't want to go back anyways!!

  • At 9:04 AM , Anonymous 123V said...

    Matty, Bean Dog really is cute. I've got nothing for this comment.

    FC&F, I won't be visiting you on career day.

    Es L, probably not, but under the Taurus sun, it's not a good idea to get rid of any possessions. Wait until after May 20 under Gemini to do so.

    Kirstin, I am so not corporate America, am I?

    Mist, I don't know that I ever got the story behind the fish. That might make a good blog post. So would putting up those pics of you in the coyote hat.

    Lee Baby, I love the ramen. Spring Vegetable is so good. I've been known to actually add meat and veggies to the Ramen to make a full meal, so I ain't mad atcha.

    Senor, that is the sign of true power. It's like you own the whole place.

    Megan Jane, Planisphere in da house! I like to share the astro-love. Not the Astro-Glide, though. That's gross.

    Akelamalu, I just hope it's not Senor with his Cheeto dust sitting at your desk.

  • At 11:46 AM , Anonymous Slick said...

    At least you know where everything is, right?? :)

    My workspace is the size of a small walk-in closet and produces 4,000 horsepower.

    A locomotive.

  • At 1:48 PM , Blogger Grampa said...

    I like the Fat Elvis better.

  • At 3:58 PM , Blogger Hey Pretty said...

    I sit in a depressing beige cubicle with my back facing foot traffic, an arrangement that drives me nuts. In my last two jobs I had my own office. I am currently angling for a promotion, if only so I can have an office again. I don't even care about compensation. I'd take a window and a door over a raise any day.

  • At 5:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Valerie, you have inspired me to hang artwork in my office. Right now, all I have is a series of "hell" based Far Sides taped to the wall. I do have my very own stereo with remote though...ooooooh, ahhhhhhhh...

    Other than that, I share the box of Cheezit's with you only mine are under the desk because they no longer fit in my food drawer.

  • At 5:45 PM , Blogger Love Monkey said...

    I have a peanut butter covered mouse and some solid stuff on the bottom of every coffee cup.

    But I have some african sculptures guarding over everything so at least I don't have to worry about bad juju invading the space.

    only bugs and mold

  • At 9:15 PM , Blogger Starboard Tack said...

    I often work on my dock overlooking the lake...

  • At 7:48 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I share a desk with the afternoon girl so, it's usually filled with files and papers that make me appear very busy and diligent. There are scratch pads filled with unledgeable print strewn about the desk, the occasional snack bars, coffee cup and tissue box. There are no pictures because occasional crazies come in, there is no need for me to get personal with them.

  • At 2:11 PM , Anonymous 123Valerie said...

    Slick, I like chubby people in general.

    Kate, I hear you, kiddo. Everyone can see all the blogging you're doing with the current set up.

    Pookie Pants, I should make my empty filing cabinet my food drawer. Thanks for the idear, kiddo.

    Love Monkey, nothing worse than bad JuJuBes. I avoid them at all costs.

    ST, are you looking to hire?

    Reflecting Pool, I fear I am the crazy from which you are trying to protect yourself. I have pictures a-go-go.


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