123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Is It Any Wonder?

So, hey, things are going well (if not stupidly busy) and I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days. Let's eff that up to the maxx by reviewing my Top 5 most embarrassing moments. Why not?

5. That time when I was with Ryan and I asked him, "Is it in yet?" It was … maybe this belongs on Ryan's list, actually.

4. When I was 12 and acting as my sister Maryann's bride's maid, I fainted during the wedding. Everyone saw my underpants, and the best man had to carry me out.

3. In second grade, I told a kid named A.J. that I liked him. And he said, "Baby, I'm too good for you." Wow. Second fucking grade.

2. I spent my 21st birthday in Burlington, VT, on an overnight. The first officer of the crew with whom I was flying went with me to a little tavern down town, where I eventually passed out on the table at 4:00 in the afternoon. We were subsequently kicked out.

So, First Officer and I stumbled back to the hotel and did what any one would do: We slept together. The next morning, I woke up and did the short walk of shame to my room and passed the captain on my way there.

"Um, hey. We were out late."

"Yeah, I heard you. I mean, I really heard you."


1. When I was 13, I discovered my Dad's Penthouse by accident and was immediately enthralled. One day, when he was dropping me off at school, my Dad stopped the car about a block from the building and said, "You have no business going through my things. I don't want you reading any of my magazines."


Let the self loathing commence.

So obvious: In the Comments section, share your most embarrassing moment. I'll give you a hug.



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