123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run

We had our company holiday party last night. I should say, yesterday afternoon. It started at 4 p.m., which gives you an idea why I like working for a company that promotes day drinking.

It was actually a very nice affair, and the company is very generous, so there aren't any trite comments on my part. The only thing is that there was a casino night theme—lots of gambling.

I am the world's worst gambler. I just am. I understand the theory, and I have a very good poker face; I'm just not very lucky when it comes to that sort of stuff. You find out who your friends are—people whom I never even met were lending me money to stay in the game. I still ended up busted broke, but I did enjoy a very nice roast beast dinner and made the best use of my drink tickets.

#1 Laura cleaned house and actually refused the prize she was due—she won an iPod last year and has been bequeathed with gifts lately, so she made the decision to spread the love around. She is Karma's darling.

The only down side is that it was slightly awkward because the older, married gentleman whom I have a massive crush on was there. Looking very handsome and dapper. And married. And handsome. And married. But, still, very handsome.

We exchanged pleasantries, and I kept trying to toss my hair. I don't think it worked. I went home alone. Just as well. He's married. But very, very handsome.

So, just to make sure my luck wasn't saving itself like a virgin bride, I bought a Maryland lottery ticket on my way home. Home for the Holidays, it was called. One of the $5 jobbies. I lost. I totally lost.

In Ohio, even the losing tickets offer a chance to send them in for a raffle sort of thing called Cash Explosion! (Their exclamation point, not mine.) Not Maryland, because it is the place of sour luck and broken dreams. And really, really high taxes.

I was so bogged down and stressed out today (not on strike, Matty) that I automatically came home, walked Wonder Dog Bean, and headed to the gym before I even had a chance to talk myself out of it. I've been doing pretty well, kids, with the whole working out thing. It's good for me. It's also pleasant because a very nice guy I work with also goes to my gym. His name is Michael. He's very tall and very nice. Not married. But very handsome.

So, I turned on the elliptical machine and I ran for everything I was worth, which ended up being about 3.5 miles and 968 calories. Go me.

It's Cohen's birthday today. I decided earlier to walk away, but I haven't done a very good job of telling him that. Oh, that hurts my heart. He shouldn't die a virgin.

In the Comments section, tell me about your holiday party or how you like to work out. Whoever gives me the story to which I can relate the most wins and gets to hang out with #1Laura because some of her good luck might rub off on you.

Speaking of rubbing off on you, here are some photos from Megan Jane's Birthday on Ice celebration.

"Yes, I wax my chest hair! What of it?" asks Sean P.K. (see sidebar Who In the Hell is She Talking About? for details) "It's fiercely sexy," says The Lovely Ms. Taylor.

Oooh! It's a double shot of The Lovely Ms. Taylor!

Hey 123Valerie! It's not on purpose that all of my photos are kind of vague. My hair and my breasts really are my best features. Along with my stellar personality, of course.

Ice skating is all fuzzy and fun! I lurve it!

Three Hot Girls at the End of a Night. Megan Jane and Taylor seem like they "Gotta Dance!" Me, of the Pointy Chin, well, I'm just happy to be upright.

Thanks, Candy Sandwich, for the photography, as always!


  • At 7:57 AM , Anonymous Megan Jane said...

    Hey V! Miss you this week!

    That is too funny/ironic that you put that fuzzy pic of J and I on yo blog! That is the one pic outta the bunch that we couldn't stop laughing about. He looks like an emaciated madman on skates (and LSD)! Poor thing. Damn livebetes and horrible angle, I reckon.

    We would not at all be offended if the pic was lost forever or replaced with one that is a little less scary ;) I'm just sayin...

  • At 8:00 AM , Blogger Nosjunkie said...

    Mmm Our year end party was big bad gala event with no theme, I have opinions about these real estate people I work with!
    But I am glad that the casino theme thing hasent reached deepest darkest Africa yet. Not because I am bad luck but because I am notoriusly stingy.
    The pics of the ice party look great must have been tones of fun.
    All our rinks down here are in malls never outside because of the heat.
    My geogrphy sucks does it snow where you guys are. We never get snow here so I'm like a kid with stuff like that

  • At 9:47 AM , Anonymous Megan Jane said...

    Hahahaha...thanks V. That picture just gives me funny feelings. You know how it is. We haven't proven to be too photogetic yet, the two of us. :)

  • At 10:45 AM , Blogger James Burnett said...

    Funny. Thanks for coming by and filling Matt's drunken void, 123Valerie! Kidding. But seriously, you have a cool blog. And I will be reading it regularly.

  • At 11:03 AM , Blogger Kristin said...

    I've seriously got to work on my photography skills and/or use a flash in low light situations. It's all blurry. :-s

    The company party sounds like fun. Gambling. I love it. Almost as much as Cash Explosion!

  • At 1:49 PM , Blogger Attention Whore said...

    You walked away from the poor Cohen (might just be gay) virgin. Hmmm...sorry to hear that. I was looking forward to the post on the official de-flowering.
    I love to work out. I stick my MP3 headphones in and just go. Apprently however, this isn't the best plan. My work out partner told me that a really cute gym-goer that I may have ogled once or twice said "Hello" to me the other day whilst I was on the treadmill. Because I had Blue October blaring loudly in my eardrums, I failed to hear him, and thus, he thought I was some stuck up hosebag and hasn't even looked at me since.
    Staff parties are great. Went to mine on Saturday. I believe they are trying to tell me soething though. Every year for the past three years, whoever had MCed the event doesn't seem to work here anymore.
    Guess who MCed? Yup....I think they are trying to tell me something

  • At 2:15 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    Who needs personality when you have hair and breasts?

    I have the hair, but no boobs. So, I have lots of personalities.

  • At 3:17 PM , Anonymous Rhea said...

    I skipped the holiday party this year. I didn't mean to. It was last night and it's usually nice. I just forgot to 'dress up' for it and I forgot to get someone to walk my dog after work, so I had to go home. Is that passive aggressive?

  • At 3:44 PM , Anonymous 123Valerie said...

    Poof, MJ. I'm magic. I didn't think you guys looked bad at all ...

    Hi Nos. Real estate is a tough world, you guys deserve good parties. No worries about your geography skills--I'm thrilled ya'll have rinks up there. (kidding. You're down there. I know that.) It snows in D.C, and then, due to the asshat drivers, the real fun begins.

    James Burnett, I like it when I can call people by the first and last names. Thank you for that.

    K, as long as there will NOT be gambling at your party, I'm very much looking forward to it.

    AW, i love Blue October. It took me a while, but I do. I hate running. I hate it, hate it, hate it. But it works.

    Boobs are overrated, Mist 1. I mean, I love mine, but I think I'd be fine without them. I'd just tease my hair more.

    Hi Rhea! You say passive aggressive, I say a tactful way to get out of awkwardly socializing with the work folks. "So, um, the halibut is really good, huh? Did, uh, you ever get that whole community service thing squared away?"

  • At 5:48 PM , Blogger Matt said...

    So women toss their hair purposely, eh? Interesting....

    A lot of people brag about their company Christmas party exploits but... have they actually stolen a bottle of Absolut from the restaurant bar? Have they sexually assaulted random Asian women in the lobby? Have they actually passed out DURING the party?

    I have. (I have to brag about something.)

  • At 5:53 PM , Anonymous 123Valerie said...

    They do when they have hair like mine, Matty.

  • At 10:00 PM , Blogger Flat Coke and Flies said...

    I don't go to the gym. Sex is the only cardio I receive. I'm trying to make it a daily habit but Mr. Wonderful isn't cooperating!!


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