123Valerie Strikes Again

Unprecedented Self-Indulgence.

Friday, February 16, 2007

A Meating of the Minds

So, I thought to myself a few weeks back, "I'm almost 27. I should probably get over my fear of giant hunks of meat."

Roasts, tenderloins, London broil, top rounds, rumps. Big cuts of meat can be intimidating--in the kitchen, anyway. Between the sheets is another matter. In any case, I thought there's no better way to conquer fears than with a bunch of friends around to support you and lots of alcohol. "I know." I thought, "I'll have a dinner party. On Valentine's Day. Splendid!"

And the Lord said, "It is good." Then He changed His mind with a bunch of snow and ice and general misery. So, it was actually a Post-Valentine's Day dinner par-tay.

But, the important part is that some of my most favorite kids came out to play: my friend Billiam, #1Laura, Lisa Lisa, Matty, Megan Jane Barbara Jones.com and Queen Z, who ventured all the way up from Froggy Bottom, which to you non-locals is essentially a six-day trek involving pack mules, dehydrated foods and maybe even a Sherpa.

I like Billiam because he always brings whiskey, and #1Laura always brings cute shoes. Lisa Lisa contributed the necessary hot Jewish action, not unlike our favorite Sarah Silverman. Matterhorn arrived in fine form, though he swears he wasn't (he said he was "flummoxed" which proves he wasn't if he could pull out big 5-cent mayonnaise words like that). And Megan Jane? Well God bless Megan Jane for always bringing the conversation back 'round to the clitoris.

I should also mention that the contractors and I were working in tandem--as I was slicing mozzarella balls for the bruschetta, they were busy slicing ceramic tiles in my kitchen sink with a machine that made the most hellacious "Reeereeereeereerrrrehhhhhhhhaaaaa" sound and using my counter space for band sawing. (That's not really a verb, is it? Oh well.) It was a lively scene, for certain. A little saw dust never hurt no one.

So, with a heck of a lot of help, I managed to pull off the dinner--big hunk of meat and all--only 1.5 hours late! Go 123V! The conversation flowed and, even though we were eating on tiny plates, the ideas were big. A good group dynamic, to be sure.

Then Lisa Lisa unveiled her fancy pants chocolate-covered strawberries, and, again, the Lord said, "It is good." This time he stuck to it. I think it's because she's Jewish.

In the Comments section, tell me your secrets for big pieces of meat.

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  • At 3:05 PM , Blogger Hey Pretty said...

    Viagra. Bah-dum-ching!

    Terribly sorry I missed it. I was having an adventure of my own, alas.

  • At 3:05 PM , Blogger Matt said...

    "who ventured all the way up from Froggy Bottom, which to you non-locals is essentially a six-day trek involving pack mules, dehydrated foods and maybe even a Sherpa."

    That's why it STILL took me a half-hour to get home going 130 mph. I love that I-270 South. It's the Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-My-Way-I'm-Returning-To-Civilization-Corridor.

    Some guy in an Audi totally blew the doors off me, too.

  • At 3:08 PM , Blogger Matt said...

    My secret, Val? Polish heritage.

  • At 6:55 PM , Blogger Kristin said...

    Sounds like a lovely dinner party. I stick to smaller hunks of meat, tenderloins, mostly, but I'm a vegetarian so the fact that I make meat at all should be scary. I mean, impressive.

    Glad you had fun.

  • At 7:17 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

    I know a lot about big hunks of meat. Next week I have a date with 150 bi hunks of meat. I will of course provide details after the date.

  • At 9:14 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I guess it won't be a secret anymore if I post it here but Bat is the best kept secret for BIG MEAT!!

  • At 3:12 PM , Blogger Lee said...

    My secret? I "date" the big piece of meat until the thought of another intellectually stimulating conversation about Men's Health Magazine makes me stick an ice pick thru my eye.


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